IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that rich countries should provide poorer countries with help that is not financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important to consider that many poor
countries
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 require
support
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 from developed
countries
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 to cope with their
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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problems
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.
While
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 many people believe that
this
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 help under no circumstances should be financial, I would argue that
although
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 most of the national issues do not require money to be dealt with, some exemptions can be made for specific cases that are discussed in
this
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 essay. First and foremost, receiving just financial
support
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 might not help a
country
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 to resolve its
problems
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.
This
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 is because poor
countries
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 are not often technologically advanced
to
Rephrase
enough to
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 deal with many of their
problems
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.
As a result
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, they sometimes require skilled professionals and hardware
support
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that is
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 not available locally. To illustrate, the government of China is providing free of cost labour and supply of materials to enhance the road network in Pakistan and Afghanistan in its
One
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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Belt One Road
initiative
Fix capitalization
Initiative
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. Without
support
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, these
countries
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 had
no
Rephrase
not
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 enough resources to improve their highways independently.
On the other hand
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, financial aid is indispensable for the
problems
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 that are related to natural disasters.
Although
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 a poor
country
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 may require specially designed aerial vehicles and large-scale excavator machines to combat
with
Change preposition
apply
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the physical damages, funding from rich
countries
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 is crucial for the
country
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 to recover from its economic loss and to provide
support
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 to the affected people.
For example
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, Pakistan faced massive earthquakes in its northern territory from 2008 to 2010, for which
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the
country
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 lapsed all of its resources to combat the
damages
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damage
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.
However
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,
due to
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 massive funding provided by other
countries
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 and
UNO
Correct article usage
the UNO
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, the
country
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 managed to recover back in its original position in the span of just a few years.
This
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 could not be possible without financial
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
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 provided by other
countries
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.
To sum up
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, it is evident that supporting the poor
countries
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 by means other than financial can help them to resolve their
problems
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 that are more related to technical aspects.
However
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, in cases like natural disasters, financial aid should be given priority over other means of
support
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 to poor
countries
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects to your overall argument.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a good logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
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