Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Youngsters are

infulenced

Correct your spelling

influenced

by celebrities charm & luxury in the place of accomplishments . I partially agree, with statement

younsters

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youngsters

might be

infulenced

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influenced

with glamour and wealth but

Add an article

the

show examples

ounger generation

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

concerate

Correct your spelling

concentrate

on the performance and

hardwork

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hard work

they have put to achieve it . I will be

higlighting

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highlighting

my points to prove the

above said

Add a hyphen

above-said

show examples

statement.

To begin

with, most of the details about the celebrities properties and

lifestyle

has been discussed in the social media platform which

infulences

Correct your spelling

influences

the younger minds. They are very much interested in the way of living and wealth, As the

flimstar

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filmstar

film star

post

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show examples

any photos or videos in the social media younger generations have an impression that celebrities have

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show examples

ery lavish

lifestyle

.They

also

send out an example in order to be famous you have to be rich & beautiful rather than talent. Youngsters trying to

imtitate

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imitate

celebs will lead youngers in the wrong path like robbery for money or that can be even a murder.

For instance

, there was a news a

14 year old

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14-year-old

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tried to kill his friend because they had an

aurgement

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argument

agreement

about the clothes worn by

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show examples

celebrity in the award function. On the other end,

their

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there

show examples

are celebrities who

infulence

Correct your spelling

influence

younger minds based on the performance. where the lavish

lifestyle

doesnt

Correct your spelling

doesn't

matter .

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

are so many inspirational stories that make the youngsters based on the dedication and

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

even

an difficult tasks

Correct the article-noun agreement

difficult tasks

a difficult task

show examples

can be easily achieved.

For example

Add a comma

show examples

famous badminton player was able to win many titles based on her talent and commitment which inspired many

younsters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

they can

also

have their future in sports through hard work & dedication. To

Conculde

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Conclude

Life style

Correct your spelling

Lifestyle

show examples

of celebrities will always create an impact on the teenagers but at the same time understanding the difficulties faced by them to achieve that

lifestyle

will

also

help youngsters to understand it better.

Submitted by deepthikamath123 on Wed Dec 16 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports; others, however, believe that people should be free to do whatever they choose. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right to privacy. To what extent do you agree?

Modern medical science has made it possible to combat many diseases. This is one reason that people are living longer lives now than they did in the past. Discuss the effects this might have on society.

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?