Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Youngsters are

infulenced

Correct your spelling

influenced

by celebrities charm & luxury in the place of accomplishments . I partially agree, with statement

younsters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

might be

infulenced

Correct your spelling

influenced

with glamour and wealth but

Add an article

the

show examples

ounger generation

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

concerate

Correct your spelling

concentrate

on the performance and

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

they have put to achieve it . I will be

higlighting

Correct your spelling

highlighting

my points to prove the

above said

Add a hyphen

above-said

show examples

statement.

To begin

with, most of the details about the celebrities properties and

lifestyle

has been discussed in the social media platform which

infulences

Correct your spelling

influences

the younger minds. They are very much interested in the way of living and wealth, As the

flimstar

Correct your spelling

filmstar

film star

post

Add a comma

show examples

any photos or videos in the social media younger generations have an impression that celebrities have

Add an article

show examples

ery lavish

lifestyle

.They

also

send out an example in order to be famous you have to be rich & beautiful rather than talent. Youngsters trying to

imtitate

Correct your spelling

imitate

celebs will lead youngers in the wrong path like robbery for money or that can be even a murder.

For instance

, there was a news a

14 year old

Add a hyphen

14-year-old

show examples

tried to kill his friend because they had an

aurgement

Correct your spelling

argument

agreement

about the clothes worn by

Change the article

show examples

celebrity in the award function. On the other end,

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

are celebrities who

infulence

Correct your spelling

influence

younger minds based on the performance. where the lavish

lifestyle

doesnt

Correct your spelling

doesn't

matter .

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

are so many inspirational stories that make the youngsters based on the dedication and

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

even

an difficult tasks

Correct the article-noun agreement

difficult tasks

a difficult task

show examples

can be easily achieved.

For example

Add a comma

show examples

famous badminton player was able to win many titles based on her talent and commitment which inspired many

younsters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

they can

also

have their future in sports through hard work & dedication. To

Conculde

Correct your spelling

Conclude

Life style

Correct your spelling

Lifestyle

show examples

of celebrities will always create an impact on the teenagers but at the same time understanding the difficulties faced by them to achieve that

lifestyle

will

also

help youngsters to understand it better.

Submitted by deepthikamath123 on Wed Dec 16 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
discuss advantages and disadvantages of on demand streaming services
On-demand streaming services have increased exponentially in the past few years. In the past, The only way to watch you're favourite movies and shows was if it was played on the television. However, if we missed the time that it was being aired, we would have missed the show and there was no way to watch it until a recast. Nowadays with the help of streaming services, we can watch all the shows and movies in our own free time. In this essay, I will be talking about the advantages and disadvantages of on-demand streaming services.
7
band
Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, some argue that working for a large company is better than working for a small one. While individuals have personal preferences to make their own decision, there are some strong reasons to consider working with a larger organization. I believe that being employed by a larger company offers significant advantages. In this essay, I will explain this issue.
5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Nowadays, students in universities have dilemma about the educational system. One group of people convinced that it is important to concentrate on the specialization that you learn, however another group thinks that it is positive activity to learn another subjects besides the major one. It is important to sort out the pros and cons of these opinions.
5
band
There is an increasing trend of old people living longer in many countries around the world. Do you think this has a positive or a negative effect on the population as a whole?
Nowadays, a general trend has been observed that aged population tend to live longer than usual due to better health facilities and advanced medical sciences. Some people opine that this has a positive impact on the general community whereas, some believe that it has a detrimental effect. I personally agree with the former statement because it implies that science has improved over the years and humankind has played a major role in it.
4.5
band
The plans below show the layout of the ground floor of a museum in 1990 and in 2010
The two planes present changes to the ground floor of a museum between 1990 and 2010. Firstly, the most striking alteration was the size of the entrance, which was extended and approximately doubled in size. Secondly, the reception was moved further to the right from the museum office and enlarged almost twice the initial size. Another major change was made to the gift shop area, a café was built and the area became larger. Furthermore, a lift was constructed between the café-gift shop zone and the natural history room. Needless to say, one of the biggest modifications was the replacement of the biggest area on the ground floor, the archaeology gallery. The gallery was split in two sections, the children’s interactive zone and the poster display area. Moreover, the statue that was initially located to the left of the stairs, was relocated right in the center of the ground floor. Taken as a whole, the ground floor of the museum has undergone a number of adjustments between 1990 and 2...

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

discuss advantages and disadvantages of on demand streaming services

Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

There is an increasing trend of old people living longer in many countries around the world. Do you think this has a positive or a negative effect on the population as a whole?

The plans below show the layout of the ground floor of a museum in 1990 and in 2010