Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

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Youngsters are
infulenced
Correct your spelling
influenced
by celebrities charm & luxury in the place of accomplishments . I partially agree, with statement
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
might be
infulenced
Correct your spelling
influenced
with glamour and wealth but
y
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the
show examples
ounger generation
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to
concerate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
on the performance and
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
they have put to achieve it . I will be
higlighting
Correct your spelling
highlighting
my points to prove the
above said
Add a hyphen
above-said
show examples
statement.
To begin
Linking Words
with, most of the details about the celebrities properties and
lifestyle
Use synonyms
has been discussed in the social media platform which
infulences
Correct your spelling
influences
the younger minds. They are very much interested in the way of living and wealth, As the
flimstar
Correct your spelling
filmstar
film star
post
Add a comma
,
show examples
any photos or videos in the social media younger generations have an impression that celebrities have
v
Add an article
a
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ery lavish
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.They
also
Linking Words
send out an example in order to be famous you have to be rich & beautiful rather than talent. Youngsters trying to
imtitate
Correct your spelling
imitate
celebs will lead youngers in the wrong path like robbery for money or that can be even a murder.
For instance
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, there was a news a
14 year old
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14-year-old
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tried to kill his friend because they had an
aurgement
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argument
agreement
about the clothes worn by
an
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a
show examples
celebrity in the award function. On the other end,
their
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there
show examples
are celebrities who
infulence
Correct your spelling
influence
younger minds based on the performance. where the lavish
lifestyle
Use synonyms
doesnt
Correct your spelling
doesn't
matter .
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
are so many inspirational stories that make the youngsters based on the dedication and
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
even
an difficult tasks
Correct the article-noun agreement
difficult tasks
a difficult task
show examples
can be easily achieved.
For example
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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famous badminton player was able to win many titles based on her talent and commitment which inspired many
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
they can
also
Linking Words
have their future in sports through hard work & dedication. To
Conculde
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Conclude
,
Life style
Correct your spelling
Lifestyle
show examples
of celebrities will always create an impact on the teenagers but at the same time understanding the difficulties faced by them to achieve that
lifestyle
Use synonyms
will
also
Linking Words
help youngsters to understand it better.
Submitted by deepthikamath123 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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