many people think government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

it is said that the state should allocate more budget in providing students with scientific subjects rather than other subjects in terms of national development and progress . In my opinion, I strongly agree that more money should be spent on other subjects
such
as art or
literature
. On the one hand, it is of importance that leisure subjects have a crucial influence on children’s mental health. Art lessons and music classes offer schoolboys and schoolgirls leisure
time
to recharge their batteries compared to science subjects which
takes
Change the verb form
take
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students
time
and many mental efforts to absorb.
Besides
, it is
also
considered as playtime for students to spend with their peers.
As a result
, these precious times help them avoid some severe diseases
such
as stress and depression.
On the other hand
, these kinds of subjects
such
as
literature
give them chances to learn moral lessons. Unlike math or physics which consist of numerous monotonous arothryms,
literature
time
is when students can learn valuable lessons related to respect with the elderly and honesty with peers as well as love with their beloved ones.
Moreover
,
literature
teachers
also
deliver stories about their ancestors fighting during the wars so that students can enhance their patriotism and national solidarity.
Thus
,
this
time
plays an important role in developing their characteristics in order to make them good citizens. In conclusion, while many people think that science subjects should
be cared
Change to the active voice
care
have cared
show examples
more, I do believe that the government should spend more of its educational budget on the other subjects due to their
importances
Correct your spelling
importance
show examples
mentioned above.
Submitted by mmphuong191 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • holistic development
  • technological advancements
  • critical thinking
  • cultural awareness
  • sustainable development
  • return on investment (ROI)
  • global competitiveness
  • job market
  • equitable education
  • funding allocation
  • curriculum balance
  • civic responsibilities
  • interdisciplinary approach
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