many people think government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #science #subjects #country #progress

it is said that the state should allocate more budget in providing students with scientific subjects rather than other subjects in terms of national development and progress . In my opinion, I strongly agree that more money should be spent on other subjects

such

as art or

literature

. On the one hand, it is of importance that leisure subjects have a crucial influence on children’s mental health. Art lessons and music classes offer schoolboys and schoolgirls leisure

time

to recharge their batteries compared to science subjects which

takes

Change the verb form

take

show examples

students

time

and many mental efforts to absorb.

Besides

, it is

also

considered as playtime for students to spend with their peers.

As a result

, these precious times help them avoid some severe diseases

such

as stress and depression.

On the other hand

, these kinds of subjects

such

literature

give them chances to learn moral lessons. Unlike math or physics which consist of numerous monotonous arothryms,

literature

time

is when students can learn valuable lessons related to respect with the elderly and honesty with peers as well as love with their beloved ones.

Moreover

literature

teachers

also

deliver stories about their ancestors fighting during the wars so that students can enhance their patriotism and national solidarity.

Thus

this

time

plays an important role in developing their characteristics in order to make them good citizens. In conclusion, while many people think that science subjects should

be cared

Change to the active voice

care

have cared

show examples

more, I do believe that the government should spend more of its educational budget on the other subjects due to their

importances

Correct your spelling

importance

show examples

mentioned above.

Submitted by mmphuong191 on Fri Dec 18 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
economic growth
holistic development
technological advancements
critical thinking
cultural awareness
sustainable development
return on investment (ROI)
global competitiveness
job market
equitable education
funding allocation
curriculum balance
civic responsibilities
interdisciplinary approach

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many people think government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

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