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Band 7.5

In many countries women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first month after the birth of their baby. do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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Introduction
People from many countries believe that it is important for females to spend
time
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 being with their newborn babies during the
first
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 month after giving birth
instead
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 of going to work. In my opinion, I do think that the benefits of
this
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 issue outweigh its drawbacks
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are two disadvantages to
this
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 circumstance. One of them is that allowing women to take maternity leave from their work may result in lower productivity.
For example
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, new moms are well-qualified accountants or even chief accountants,
then
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, their absence may affect the company’ accounting process. Another drawback is that they may get into unemployment. females leaving their positions for a long
time
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such
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 as a month are likely to find difficulties in getting familiar with the companies’ current responsibilities and tasks.
Therefore
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, it can take companies a long
time
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 to train these female employees and sometimes, they may be fired if they can not keep track of the work.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the advantages of leaving jobs temporarily are more important and should be taken into consideration.
Firstly
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, that precious
time
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 helps women recover after giving birth in terms of health and emotion.Giving birth is considered as a precious moment which takes females many physical and emotional efforts or sometimes, they may even have to face risks of death.
Thus
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, leaving their jobs for a month will give them chances to recharge their batteries.
Secondly
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, spending
time
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 with a newborn
baby
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 is considered as a
time
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 for mom to assist the
baby
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 in his or her early life with any problems happening. It is undeniable that a new
baby
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 does not have a good immune system,
as a result
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, they can easily get ill.
That is
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 why mom plays a crucial role in taking care of their
baby
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Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 there are many drawbacks that
this
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 situation may bring to, I strongly believe that the merits are more important and it should be considered carefully

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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