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Band 7.5

People after retirement often require financial assistance. Should the government be responsible for this or should the individuals make provisions for themselves? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #retirement #assistance #government #individuals #provisions
As human’s lifespans have greatly increased, many retired seniors suffer from financial issues. While some people argue that each citizen should prepare provisions by themselves to mitigate
this
 problem, but I believe that governments should have responsibility for
this
. Some claim that individuals should prepare their own budgets because governments might not be able to support retired people financially. When emergency cases occur, governments spend their profits on these.
For instance
, the huge earthquake happened on the eastern side of Japan in 2011, its government used more than 40 per cent of revenue for rebuilding, which brought that the cost of retired seniors’ pensions slightly declined.
Furthermore
, people can have more fruitful lives since they can freely spend their
money
.
Although
 the amount of
money
 from governments limited, people can use their
money
 flexibly if they have a lot of savings.
However
, I believe that governments should help retired people financially because governments have
a
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play a role of providing a secure life for all citizens. If governments do not support financially, many people especially low-income household cannot survive their lives since they do not have saving but their expenditures rise due to medical costs.
In addition
, it is difficult to live spending all their savings. With increasing life expectancy, people can live a longer period of time without income and
therefore
, even though people save
money
 before retirement, they need financial aid from governments. In conclusion, while it is true that individuals should prepare post-retirement budgets by themselves, I insist that governments should be responsible for supporting retired people because supporting all citizens is an essential role for governments.
Submitted by aiko.miyazaki123 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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