Many people living in cities these days do not get enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this?

Nowadays, people who live in an urban city, don't do sports enough. It has several reasons
such
as developing
of
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
technology
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and not having time to do sports because of the job.
Firstly
, technology evolves day by day
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and spreads out
to
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
everywhere. New social media applications, new movies, new podcasts appear every day, and cities people easily
adaptate
Correct your spelling
adapt
these development
Change the determiner
this development
show examples
becaue
Correct your spelling
because
they are familiar
Verify preposition usage
with
show examples
them. So, they may
chose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
to use their mobile phone to surf at the internet
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or look at the social media accounts when they have leisure time
instead
of going out to walk
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or going to
g
Add an article
the
show examples
ym. Technological changes may affect people to not do physical activities. Today, every
businesses
Change to a singular noun
business
show examples
are in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
competition with others, they want to make more profit than other's companies. So, it produces that employees need to work harder
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and stay at
o
Add an article
the
show examples
ffice more hours. Because of their intense jobs, and duties, they may feel exhausted.
Hence
, when employees come to
h
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ome, they might not have
e
Change the article
the
show examples
nergy to do physical activities. They might just want to rest at their comfortable sofa
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and chitchat with their family.
As a result
, intense jobs may reduce the number of physical activities time. To conclude, improvement of technology
definietly
Correct your spelling
definitely
makes easier our life, but
also
has damage
such
as increasing
obesity related
Add a hyphen
obesity-related
show examples
to
do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
not sports.
In addition
, having a job is a necessary item in
a
Add an article
an
show examples
dult's daily life,
however
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
if people work harder, they might lose their physical energy.
Submitted by eminarmagan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: