IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

many people believe that a university education is necessary for a good career. do you agree or dis agree? what other factors can contribute to a good career?

#people #university #education #career #dis #factors
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There are certain individuals who believe in the imperativeness of
university
Use synonyms
 erudition in order to secure a better career in the future.
Although
Linking Words
 I agree with the statement given, I
also
Linking Words
 believe that there are other aspects of equal importance that are essential to having career prospects. Undoubtedly,
university
Use synonyms
 graduates have
a
Change the article
an
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 edge ahead of
other
Replace the word
others
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 who are not because of the presumption that the former
were
Change the verb form
was
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 prepared with relevant skills and knowledge by their schools on their chosen profession. These preparations made by universities not only increases
m
Add an article
the
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arketable skills of the college graduates but
also
Linking Words
 contribute
in
Verify preposition usage
to
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 the attractiveness for
prospect
Replace the word
prospective
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 employers.
Thus
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, it is highly noticeable that
v
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the
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ast majority of employees in most industries are coming from those with higher educational qualification as they are deemed beneficial for the employers.
However
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, as the job market
Add a comma
,
show examples
these days
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 proving to be highly competitive as evidenced by
l
Add an article
a
the
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ong list of qualifications
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to filter the best, having a
university
Use synonyms
 degree is not sufficient anymore.
An aspiring applicants
Correct the article-noun agreement
Aspiring applicants
An aspiring applicant
show examples
 should be equipped with soft skills and other relevant skills in order to best others who have the same educational qualification.
For instance
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, having leadership quality and strong interpersonal skills can
also
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 throw the balance in favour of the applicant. Essential skills like computer literacy and good oral communications can significantly put a person steps ahead among others as they these are considered necessary skills in the modern world.
This
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 would give an impression to the employers that other than academic skill, a person is technically prepared as well to embark in a new position readily. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
university
Use synonyms
 degree is a parameter for having job prospects in the chosen field of
epertise
Correct your spelling
expertise
, having soft skills and other related technical skills could earn a person a big leap to
succesfully
Correct your spelling
successfully
 earn work
propect
Correct your spelling
prospect
 in the not so distant future.
Submitted by titanesh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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