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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some think that ambition is a good quality. Is it important to be ambitious? Is it a positive or negative characteristic

#think #ambition #quality
In
epoch
Correct article usage
the epoch
show examples
 world, being ambitious is considered
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good quality by many societies. In my opinion, it is very important for
this
 competitive world.
However
, it can have its drawbacks like not
able
Add a missing verb
being able
show examples
 to focus on one particular goal .
This
 essay will deal with both sides. The important thing in life is to achieve success and to become successful one must have certain goals. Working hard to achieve those goals will ultimately achieve their ambition.
As a result
, they get wealth and status
symbol
Fix the agreement mistake
symbols
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 and are respected more in society.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
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,
for instance
, a student
competes
Correct pronoun usage
who competes
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 with lakhs of other students for the NEET entrance examination to get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 medical seat , in a college of their choice. They take
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
-2
years
Change the noun form
year
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 gap and solely prepare for
this
 competitive exam. On achieving the desired score and college of their choice, they are treated like gods in society.
On the other hand
, too many ambitions can make a person not able to set his priorities straight. He becomes arrogant and
level headed
Add a hyphen
level-headed
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. They would look down upon others when they are successful.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
show examples
,
for example
, a businessman who is successful in
getting
Verb problem
making
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 a profit
becomes
Correct word choice
and becomes
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 arrogant and starts to indulge in other businesses with the thought of
getting
Verb problem
achieving
show examples
 success in that too. He
also
 starts to overindulge in buying many luxury vehicles, apartments and other properties. When his business starts to fail, he loses everything he achieved. In conclusion, being ambitious is a good and positive characteristic required for
this
 world but one must be too ambitious.
Submitted by dipshikhaa.r on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks clarity and does not effectively outline the main points to be discussed. The conclusion needs to be more substantial and address the main points and arguments presented. Use topic sentences and supporting details to create a logical connection between ideas. Ensure that all examples are relevant to the main points and effectively support the arguments presented.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the task question and presents relevant ideas. However, the ideas presented lack clear development and the examples provided are not entirely relevant. Improve topic development and provide more specific and relevant examples to support the arguments.
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