Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #job #future

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is debatable whether

to choose

Change the verb form

choosing

show examples

a profession depends on the demand of the market or

Wrong verb form

following

show examples

one's passion. Most

people

Use synonyms

think we should allow young

people

Use synonyms

to decide their future path.

However

Linking Words

, others believe that the young generation should be more pragmatic

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

when

show examples

opting for their

career

Use synonyms

. I agree with the former view. To commence,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

choosing passion as a

career

Use synonyms

gives better outcomes.

In other words

Linking Words

, if a person opts for his

career

Use synonyms

based on his choice

then

Linking Words

definitely he works more enthusiastically. He will be more productive at his workplace. To cite an example,

according to

Linking Words

a survey of "India Today" based on the choice of a profession, 40% of youth agree to follow their passion. Because

this

Linking Words

will give job satisfaction and they will be happier in their life.

However

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

argue that choose

job

Add an article

a job

the job

show examples

which is more

career

Use synonyms

friendly.

Although

Linking Words

career

Use synonyms

-oriented jobs give stability in terms of fortune, do not claim

people

Use synonyms

will be happy.

For instance

Linking Words

, many young generations opt

engineering

Change preposition

for engineering

show examples

as a

career

Use synonyms

option. To be precise, many choose information technology as a

career

Use synonyms

option because of the boom in the industry. Parents

also

Linking Words

forced

Wrong verb form

force

show examples

youths to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

engineer

Fix the agreement mistake

engineers

show examples

without knowing what their

desire

Fix the agreement mistake

desires

show examples

Add a missing verb

are.

show examples

So the major portion of youth

resists

Correct subject-verb agreement

resist

show examples

their craving to work they like.

To Sum up

Linking Words

, deciding

Change preposition

on the

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

career

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

self-choice gives happiness and balance in personal and professional life. But one can not ignore the fact that

realistic

Correct article usage

a realistic

show examples

approach

also

Linking Words

plays a vital role in livelihood.

Submitted by Gaurav Jain on Tue Dec 22 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The essay could benefit from providing more balanced arguments for both sides and further developed points. Consider adding more detailed examples and explanations to better support your main ideas.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to better connect your points and ensure smooth progression.

task achievement

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your essay well.

task achievement

Your essay touches on both views of the topic and provides your own opinion, which is essential for the task.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

career trajectory
job satisfaction
employment prospects
financial stability
job security
economically viable
harnessing potential
labor market
vocational guidance
real-world demands

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?
It is often thought that immigration has a major impact on society. The impacts of that statement can both result in people’s agreement and disagreement. Some people believe that moving from places can bring you new experiences, such as new work experience, social life, and lots of other reasons. This essay will list why people choose to migrate from their current environment to another and its consequences.
6.5
band
Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is common for organisations to have seniors as top executives. However, in the contemporary era, many people argue that young individuals are better to instead of these older leaders. In my opinion, I completely agree with this view.
4.5
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars
With the advent of technology, the world is evolving faster with several technological advancements making our lives easier. Over the past three decades, car ownership has seen an unprecedented rise, leading to severe congestion on the roads. I think the above statement is very true. The government should take necessary measures to discourage people from using cars.
6
band
Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
There is an ongoing debate about increasing the prices of sugary products, the main culprit behind various deadly health issues. While I agree this approach will reduce market consumption in general and lead our society to a healthy lifestyle, I believe that the implementation should be approached with caution to minimize potential drawbacks, especially concerning economic aspects like bankruptcy and unemployment.
7.5
band
Sometimes, tourists may damage tourist sites. Explain what some of the negative effects may be. Suggest some solutions to this problem
In recent years, travel has been one of the most prevalent fields of service, which brought about numerous merits to economic growth and higher living standards. However, many sightseers have some detrimental effects on visitor attractions. In this essay, some of its consequences will be examined while some measures will be suggested to alleviate this problem.

Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars

Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Sometimes, tourists may damage tourist sites. Explain what some of the negative effects may be. Suggest some solutions to this problem