Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
It is debatable whether
to choose
a profession depends on the demand of the market or Change the verb form
choosing
follow
one's passion. Most Wrong verb form
following
people
think we should allow young people
to decide their future path. However
, others believe that the young generation should be more pragmatic while
opting for their Correct word choice
when
career
. I agree with the former view.
To commence, By
choosing passion as a Change preposition
apply
career
gives better outcomes. In other words
, if a person opts for his career
based on his choice then
definitely he works more enthusiastically. He will be more productive at his workplace. To cite an example, according to
a survey of "India Today" based on the choice of a profession, 40% of youth agree to follow their passion. Because this
will give job satisfaction and they will be happier in their life.
However
, some people
argue that choose job
which is more Add an article
a job
the job
career
friendly. Although
career
-oriented jobs give stability in terms of fortune, do not claim people
will be happy. For instance
, many young generations opt engineering
as a Change preposition
for engineering
career
option. To be precise, many choose information technology as a career
option because of the boom in the industry. Parents also
forced
youths to become Wrong verb form
force
an
IT Correct article usage
apply
engineer
without knowing what their Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
desire
Fix the agreement mistake
desires
.
So the major portion of youth Add a missing verb
are.
resists
their craving to work they like.
Correct subject-verb agreement
resist
To Sum up
, deciding Change preposition
on the
the
Correct article usage
a
career
of
self-choice gives happiness and balance in personal and professional life. But one can not ignore the fact that Change preposition
apply
realistic
approach Correct article usage
a realistic
also
plays a vital role in livelihood.Submitted by Gaurav Jain
on
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from providing more balanced arguments for both sides and further developed points. Consider adding more detailed examples and explanations to better support your main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to better connect your points and ensure smooth progression.
task achievement
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay touches on both views of the topic and provides your own opinion, which is essential for the task.