IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams life football, while others think individual sports like tennis and Swimming is better. Discuss both views and give Your Opinion

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Nowadays, People have
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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contrasting views on whether playing
team
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sports
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 is more significant than
solo
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 games or not. In
this
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 essay, both arguments will be discussed before introducing my opinion
why
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on why
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 it is better to enhance individuals' personal
skills
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 through
Solo
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sports
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. On the one hand,
team
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sports
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such
Linking Words
 as football have their own pros which encourage many to participate
in
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apply
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. One of the major benefits is boosting communication
skills
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. Since all
team
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 members have to practice together on a daily basis, their communication will be a must either on the field or
on
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in
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 their private life. Another Positive impact stemming from
team
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sports
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 is that they instil
the
Correct article usage
a
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 sense of responsibility into participants towards other teammates.
This
Linking Words
 is because the success of the
team
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 depends on the
team
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's
spirits
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spirit
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, not on an individual's talents. Seldom does
this
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 occur if the player is a self-centred person
?
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.
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on the other hand
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,
Solo
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 games hold numerous merits regarding players' personal
skills
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.
Firstly
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,
this
Linking Words
 type of
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sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
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 conveys the message
of
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that
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 in order to achieve
a
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apply
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huge success, players should learn how to be self-reliant. To illustrate, only if the athlete wants to break a record or accomplish special goals, should he hone his own
skills
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 independently through working hard.
Secondly
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, self-motivation is considered a great outcome
from
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of
show examples
solo
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 games. The more the players encourage themselves, the more
efforts
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effort
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 they will exert for success.
Thus
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,
this
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 will eventually increase their self-esteem in their abilities even if they fail once, they could try again until they reach.
To conclude
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,
although
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 many people support
team
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sports
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due to
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its
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their
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 effects on members' communication and
team
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 spirit, I still believe that
solo
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sports
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 have more essential results in enhancing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independence and self-confidence levels

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task achievement
Try to use specific examples that relate more directly to personal or widely recognized experiences. This will make your arguments stronger and more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your conclusion mirrors the introduction by summarizing both sides before presenting your opinion clearly, and ensure it’s a reflection of the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words more consistently to ensure smooth flow between points and clarity of ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument before sharing a personal opinion, which is critical for a task of this nature.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is logically structured, with clear topic sentences and supporting details, making it easy to follow the line of reasoning.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets out the intent of the essay, and the conclusion provides a satisfactory closing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaboration
  • teamwork
  • personal and professional life
  • development of social skills
  • communicate
  • cooperate
  • support network
  • valuable life lessons
  • reliability
  • punctuality
  • common goal
  • personal growth
  • self-improvement
  • self-discipline
  • time management skills
  • training routines
  • personal achievement
  • satisfaction
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