Some people think it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams life football, while others think individual sports like tennis and Swimming is better. Discuss both views and give Your Opinion

#people #part #sports #teams #life #football #tennis

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Nowadays, People have

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

contrasting views on whether playing

team

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

is more significant than

solo

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games or not. In

this

Linking Words

essay, both arguments will be discussed before introducing my opinion

why

Change preposition

on why

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it is better to enhance individuals' personal

skills

Use synonyms

through

Solo

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

. On the one hand,

team

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sports

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such

Linking Words

as football have their own pros which encourage many to participate

Change preposition

apply

show examples

. One of the major benefits is boosting communication

skills

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. Since all

team

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members have to practice together on a daily basis, their communication will be a must either on the field or

Change preposition

show examples

their private life. Another Positive impact stemming from

team

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

is that they instil

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sense of responsibility into participants towards other teammates.

This

Linking Words

is because the success of the

team

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depends on the

team

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spirits

Fix the agreement mistake

spirit

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, not on an individual's talents. Seldom does

this

Linking Words

occur if the player is a self-centred person

Change the punctuation

show examples

on the other hand

Linking Words

Solo

Use synonyms

games hold numerous merits regarding players' personal

skills

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Firstly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

type of

Use synonyms

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

conveys the message

Change preposition

that

show examples

in order to achieve

Remove the article

apply

show examples

huge success, players should learn how to be self-reliant. To illustrate, only if the athlete wants to break a record or accomplish special goals, should he hone his own

skills

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independently through working hard.

Secondly

Linking Words

, self-motivation is considered a great outcome

from

Change preposition

show examples

solo

Use synonyms

games. The more the players encourage themselves, the more

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

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they will exert for success.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will eventually increase their self-esteem in their abilities even if they fail once, they could try again until they reach.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

many people support

team

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sports

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due to

Linking Words

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

effects on members' communication and

team

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spirit, I still believe that

solo

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sports

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have more essential results in enhancing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

independence and self-confidence levels

Submitted by emanibrahim51191 on Tue Dec 22 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to use specific examples that relate more directly to personal or widely recognized experiences. This will make your arguments stronger and more relatable.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your conclusion mirrors the introduction by summarizing both sides before presenting your opinion clearly, and ensure it’s a reflection of the main points discussed.

coherence cohesion

Use transition words more consistently to ensure smooth flow between points and clarity of ideas.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument before sharing a personal opinion, which is critical for a task of this nature.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph is logically structured, with clear topic sentences and supporting details, making it easy to follow the line of reasoning.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly sets out the intent of the essay, and the conclusion provides a satisfactory closing.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

collaboration
teamwork
personal and professional life
development of social skills
communicate
cooperate
support network
valuable life lessons
reliability
punctuality
common goal
personal growth
self-improvement
self-discipline
time management skills
training routines
personal achievement
satisfaction

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Some people think it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams life football, while others think individual sports like tennis and Swimming is better. Discuss both views and give Your Opinion

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

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In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?