Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Sports

Use synonyms

have been the longest method of fitness or staying healthy.

However

Linking Words

, a few people are interested in

sports

Use synonyms

and activities that are more hazardous in nature. In my opinion, I think that young people get attracted to

such

Linking Words

events to seek new thrills and

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

brave.

Firstly

Linking Words

, some youngsters are very curious

Change preposition

about

show examples

the ways of nature and like to explore it in a more adventurous way.

Hence

Linking Words

, they begin a trail of activities that can provide a new experience and bring a thrill

Change preposition

show examples

the adventure.

Sports

Use synonyms

like mountain biking

Linking Words

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

instance, where the cyclist rides down the edge of hills off-terrain, is

such

Linking Words

an action that causes danger to the rider, as some feel that

this

Linking Words

thrilling feel is their adrenaline.

Secondly

Linking Words

, sets of youngsters join or begin these kinds of sportive actions to demonstrate bravery.

This

Linking Words

can be seen in videos where young men or women run and jump over tall buildings without a harness or any support. They often record their feats in order to showcase their abilities and get compliments from seeds and peers. To cite an example, stunts like parkour and free running are aimed at getting from one point to another in a complex and difficult environment, without assistive equipment.

To conclude

Linking Words

, youngsters are living the fullest of their dreams

participating

Change preposition

by participating

show examples

in these wild

sports

Use synonyms

, with some of them being successful and famous.

Although

Linking Words

there is deep and immense fun in adventurous and courageous physical activity, they should

also

Linking Words

consider

to be

Change the verb form

being

show examples

precautious

while

Linking Words

entering, to avoid endangerment.

ash.fuji2018Wed Dec 23 2020

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task achievement

The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion on why some people are attracted to dangerous sports. However, developing your points further with more detailed examples would strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of the essay is generally logical, with clear paragraphing. However, the transition between ideas could be improved to enhance the flow of the essay.

task achievement

While your examples are relevant, providing a bit more context or detail would create a stronger connection between the examples and your main points.

task achievement

The introduction presents a clear opinion on the topic, setting the stage for the arguments that follow.

task achievement

The examples of mountain biking and parkour effectively illustrate the points made about thrill-seeking and bravery.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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