IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
Health
 is an essential part of everyone's life, despite taking proper care of ourselves we do get prone to several
health
 conditions. I completely agree that every country should cover different
health
 services of its citizens. Discussing
further
, the reasons
of
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
 how people of
l
Add an article
the
show examples
ow-income group are impacted, followed by
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
how taxes are being paid which can provide with routine checkups in return. The
first
 reason is that a lot of people belong to a group who do not earn well enough, which
further
 means that they have a set budget for every month for all their expenses
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
therefore
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they do get diagnosed with any
health
 issue they struggle to pay their other bills. In
addittion
Correct your spelling
addition
, the medication necessary might have to be continued for a period of several months which is an added expense. To illustrate
further
, an unemployed individual might not be able to even get a checkup done, let alone bearing the cost of the treatment.
Secondly
, individual living in a country pay fee in the form of taxes out of their monthly income
hence
, they should not be charged
seprately
Correct your spelling
separately
 for monthly checkups or anti-viral vaccines. Clearly, paying some amount every month is used towards providing several services, but including as minimal as ten free visits to the doctor can be included in these benefits.
For example
, ensuring
s
Add an article
the
a
show examples
upply of immunity booster shots for no cost will keep diseases at bay. To conclude, officials should make
health
 services inclusive as not all can afford it and the expense is already getting paid by each person.
Submitted by radhika.agnihotri1508 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: