Some People Believe That Money Is The Most Important Factor For Achieving Happiness. To what extent do you agree ?

#people #money #factor #happiness

Money

is something which is not directly related to

happiness

there are some point which contradicts

money

is linked with

happiness

and you can buy

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show examples

ot of things with

money

but

happiness

is something

Add a pronoun

that

show examples

annot be bought. One can feel

happiness

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show examples

ifferent way without

money

while having quality

time

with family, watching

Add an article

the

show examples

ovie and reading interesting book give

happiness

Therefore

,In my opinion

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show examples

money

is not directly related to

happiness

Person

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A person

The person

show examples

who having

money

has enough power to buy all things he/she wants for their

happiness

whereas poor people might not have sufficient

money

to survive but still their

happiness

does not always

lies

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lie

show examples

in having more

money

but they manage within what they have their

happiness

nowhere connected to buying

happiness

with

money

. The

Change the word

apply

show examples

richer person

are

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show examples

financially happy but most of

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the

show examples

ich people does not have family

happiness

due to hard earning

money

they remain busy earning more

money

. On contrarily people with less

money

has no burden of other than having good family spending

time

like eating meals together and spending

time

with their children and they are with happy with that.

Moreover

, people are kind of

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

problem they suffer from many issues like anxiety, depression due to their busy life with harden

money

as they have no one special friend and are lonely to share their thoughts. Most of them are so busy working hardly get

time

to talk with family and friends. On contrarily person who

are

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in touch with friends and family are easily able to manage in their bad

time

. It is important for us to interact with everyone especially with someone whom we love which gives us

happiness

and we feel that

are

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show examples

being blessed and there is someone who cares for us.

Money

is not a thing which brings all

happiness

it Is important but there are life’s some aspects

money

does not bring

happiness

Money

is what we need to fulfil our basic need like shelter, food, clothing etc. but it not very much important which gives

happiness

for all aspect of life there are other

thing

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things

show examples

than

money

Add an article

show examples

riend, parents are important in a person life to give internal

happiness

and they cannot be bought with

money

Submitted by generalpreparation90 on Thu Dec 24 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

373 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some People Believe That Money Is The Most Important Factor For Achieving Happiness. To what extent do you agree ?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Crime rates are increasing in the recent years in all countries and it is becoming more violent . Why do you think is? What can be done for it?

Some people think that the government should use extra money to fund programs to improve the environment. Others think that it is better for the government to spend money to support artistic programs. Which option do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most experiences in our lives that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.