IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In any field — business, politics, education, government — those in power should step down after five years. Do you agree?

#field #business #politics #education #government #power #step #five #years
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In these days,
power
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power-play
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play
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plays
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an
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a
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 very important role in the system, irrespective of the fields. Being in the society which dominates the people who are higher position, it becomes very difficult to change after
c
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a
show examples
ertain period of
time
. In
this
 essay, I will
highlighting
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highlight
be highlighting
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 the points , and
also
 disagree on changing authorities after certain life-span.
To begin
 with,
There
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there
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 are always individuals who think
power
 is an important role, irrelevant of the fields they belong to . In certain areas like politics, government and business, even though the pathetic is the control with the help of these
power
 they become more powerful , sometimes it
also
 creates
m
Add an article
a
show examples
onopoly in certain places , it becomes very difficult to start any new venture as they dominate it.
For example
, In
bollywood
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Bollywood
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 always the star kids have been
casted
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cast
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 in the famous directors, irrespective of their talent. They have purely got the movies based on the nepotism , and the outsiders struggle for their movies, even though if they get chance they have been given a role of supporting actor.
Secondly
, Few
development
Change to a plural noun
developments
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 has made commendable progress in the fields and people would like to continue the same irrespective of the span.
For Instance
 , In politics, Narendra
modi
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Modi
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 has got
d
Add an article
the
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evelopment of the country , which in return he was again appointed as the Prime Minister of India. Whenever there is any positive improvement people would like to contribute and support. Suppose any
time
 limit is been implied , it becomes very difficult for party or government to understand their area of
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
 , by the
time
 they are making any progress the
time
 limit comes to an end. In
Conculsion
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Conclusion
, Some people are bound to
ruled
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rule
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 by the help of
power
 or any other
infulence
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influence
 and few other people needs to be ruled with the amount of work
that is
 been done for the country. So
i
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I
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 disagree on the fact, it needs to be changed
Submitted by deepthikamath123 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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