IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people do not mind to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while some people prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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It is a common belief that some people do not care about doing something for their
rest
Use synonyms
 of
time
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 with their peers.
However
Linking Words
, there is a persuasive argument that some people do not want to spend their
leisure
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time
Use synonyms
 with co-workers, as they think that they have a different style of enjoying
leisure
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time
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 or if they spent
rest
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 of
time
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 with peers,
that is
Linking Words
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
extended work life. On the one hand, some people want to spend the
rest
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 of
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t
Add an article
the
show examples
ime with their co-workers
such
Linking Words
 as jogging, hiking, swimming, riding. And some people
also
Linking Words
 do not mind whether they do or not. Those people argue that those sorts of sports develop their team works and even they can share deeply their own mind about them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in Korea, the giant companies have
making
Change the verb form
made
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 a lot of
club
Change to a plural noun
clubs
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 to do sports for enjoying
leisure
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time
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, those employee groups look satisfied that support by their own company.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I support the idea that people accept the other person who
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not want to
rest
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 with
p
Add a pronoun
their
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eers. Because
,
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apply
show examples
 they just want to
lied
Change the verb
lie
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 in their bed to
be relax
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relax
show examples
 and they want to make a good
time
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 with their family for the
rest
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 of
time
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. For one research have shown that a lot of junior peers had stress when they in
leisure
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 with work members. For them,
such
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 as
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 workshops was an extended
works
Correct the article-noun agreement
work
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. To sum up, while it is apparent that some people do not think the spending
leisure
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time
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 with co-workers was stressful.
However
Linking Words
, some people do not agree with that idea. So, people mush not have to be
Add an article
a
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force
Change the form of the verb
forced
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 to spending together
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 with their colleagues.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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