Some people do not mind to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while some people prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

It is a common belief that some people do not care about doing something for their
rest
of
time
with their peers.
However
, there is a persuasive argument that some people do not want to spend their
leisure
time
with co-workers, as they think that they have a different style of enjoying
leisure
time
or if they spent
rest
of
time
with peers,
that is
an
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun life in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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extended work life. On the one hand, some people want to spend the
rest
of
t
Add an article
the

It appears that an article is missing before the word time. Consider adding the article.

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ime with their co-workers
such
as jogging, hiking, swimming, riding. And some people
also
do not mind whether they do or not. Those people argue that those sorts of sports develop their team works and even they can share deeply their own mind about them.
Therefore
, in Korea, the giant companies have
making
Change the verb form
made

It appears that the verb making should be in the past participle form. Consider changing it.

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a lot of
club
Change to a plural noun
clubs

The singular countable noun club follows the quantifier lot, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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to do sports for enjoying
leisure
time
.
Thus
, those employee groups look satisfied that support by their own company.
Nevertheless
, I support the idea that people accept the other person who
do
Change the verb form
does

The plural verb do does not appear to agree with the singular subject the other person. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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not want to
rest
with
p
Add a pronoun
their

This sentence appears to be missing a pronoun. Consider adding the pronoun.

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eers. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction Because. Consider removing the comma.

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they just want to
lied
Change the verb
lie

It appears that the verb lied should be in the base form as part of the to-infinitive following want. Consider changing the verb form.

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in their bed to
be relax
Change the verb form
relax

It appears that the form of the verb relax does not work with be in this sentence.

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and they want to make a good
time
with their family for the
rest
of
time
. For one research have shown that a lot of junior peers had stress when they in
leisure
with work members. For them,
such
as
sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

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workshops was an extended
works
Correct the article-noun agreement
work

The indefinite article an may not be required with the plural noun works in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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. To sum up, while it is apparent that some people do not think the spending
leisure
time
with co-workers was stressful.
However
, some people do not agree with that idea. So, people mush not have to be
Add an article
a

The noun phrase force seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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force
Change the form of the verb
forced

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb force. Consider changing it.

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to spending together
leisure
time
with their colleagues.
Submitted by kooji6856 on

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