In achieving personal happiness, our relationships with family, friends, and colleagues are more important than work and wealth. Do you agree or disagree with this?

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Introduction

These lifestyles of human beings have changed a lot. People think they will be content if they have a good relationship with family, friends and colleagues than their job or prosperity. I disagree with

this

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opinion because without job and wage normal advancement is very difficult to carry out.

This

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essay discusses the vital role of salary and trial to maintain

the

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good link with their beloved ones.

Body paragraph 1

The primary reason why effort and richness are indispensable is that without these two things normal basic necessities cannot be fulfilled.

Moreover

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, success will become more complex and hard to enjoy.

For instance

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, a recent survey concluded 90%people are happy only if they have food and shelter to live rather than their friend and relatives.

Furthermore

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, if people are not well organised with endeavour and affluence their relation with their beloved one will be disasters.

Hence

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, without capital and carrier

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nothing will make you happy more than

this

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Body paragraph 2

Another reason is to get a quality of soul which is possible only with worth and industry. If your task hard you will get fund and can have a high standard of activity. But, if you don't have enough balance your growth will not be satisfied as you used to be with a trial.

For example

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, the researchers concluded that

although

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everyone has their friends, family and relatives that are deprived of happiness because of lack of production and wealth.

This

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is because for any good contact we need a better quality of activity

such

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as housing, clothing and so on. So, quality of growth is crucial which we get only from by our hard effort and fund.

Conclusion

To conclude,

although

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I agree that friends and relatives are near to us, without performance and abundance you can no longer be with them so your career and property are more vital to protect your liaison.

Sabu

Dec 26, 2020

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

personal happiness
strong relationships
family
friends
colleagues
work and wealth
temporary happiness
fulfilling
sense of belonging
connection
meaningful interactions
joy
fulfillment
building and maintaining
time and effort
communication
stress
pressure
balance
well-being

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In achieving personal happiness, our relationships with family, friends, and colleagues are more important than work and wealth. Do you agree or disagree with this?

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The percentage of overweight children children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last decade. discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

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