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Writing Samples
Band 7

working hourse should be reduce / do you agree or not

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The
time
Use synonyms
 that
people
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 spend in their workplace is
one
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 of the most controversial topics. some argue that it should be reduced during weekdays. l overwhelmingly agree with
this
Linking Words
 mindset.
One
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 of the most critical aspects of it is the enhancement of creativity among the
people
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 who are working in the same place. when
people
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 have enough
time
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 to relax that person becomes more motivated to do their tasks more accurately in order to flourish in his field. Apple company is
one
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 of the most evident examples, that action a
lot
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 to the
time
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 as the main factor for its innovative achievement and with the help of now Apple is
one
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 of the most profitable workplaces.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
 environment can significantly diminish a
lot
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 of stress that employees have been struggling with . The main reason behind it is the peace of mind that being in
this
Linking Words
 place can create for them. Another critical benefit of it is the improvement of the balance between the job and their personal life. by having free
time
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people
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 can participate in a diverse range of activities to recharge themselves self start a new day.
For instance
Linking Words
, it provides unique opportunities for parents to spend
time
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 with their children by playing with them and nurturing them with their own mindset, which leads to fostering strong relationships among them.
Moreover
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, the effects on their well-being should not be overlooked. in
such
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 places,
people
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 feel more comfortable about their careers, which leads to being more have a more positive environment that avoids a
lot
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 of diseases that may happen to us. Some
people
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 argue that reducing
time
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 can stop us from following our dream of upward mobility and create a
lot
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 of challenges to stop us from our goals. I completely reject it. having
such
Linking Words
 plans not only helps us to be on the right path but
also
Linking Words
, we can be more innovative and open-minded about our lives. In conclusion, working hours should be priorities in most workplaces if they want to thrive in their career.
Submitted by homa.nazrmian56 on

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language use
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the complexity and precision of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the use of varied linking words to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that work well to frame your argument.
task achievement
You present a relevant example about Apple that suitably illustrates your point about creativity and reduced working hours.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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