IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Nowadays, many people choose to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

#people #self #work #company #organization #be #case
There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a wide range of people
p
Add a pronoun
who
show examples
refer to be self-employed
instead
 of working for a
company
 or organization, which inherits its reasons and disadvantages. People who prefer to be self-employed would consider free work time as their primary reason. These people argue that they could decide the office hours and they could leave office when they want to. If they work in a
company
, it is less likely to go back home on time due to
such
t
Add an article
a
show examples
rend in
m
Add an article
the
show examples
odern workplace.
Thus
,
self-employment
 could offer people a better work and life balance. When they are the boss of themselves, the working atmosphere is more comfortable.
Besides
, the internet and modern technology
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
 communication possible. People who are self-employed could find potential clients around the world
instead
 of relying
Add the preposition
on
upon
show examples
big companies’ resources. The technology
also
 creates new jobs and markets which might not have a mature
company
, so people have to be self-employed.
Although
self-employment
 has its benefits, the shortcomings still remain. Being self-employed could limit the development of the individual and the business. It is difficult to cooperate with other companies and marketing when self-employed
company
 lack of a powerful
company
 to support.
Therefore
, the self-employed companies might lose plenty of opportunities and the individuals might not able to achieve their career goals.
Also
, a self-employed
company
 lacks risk-managing abilities. When big changes occur in the industry,
such
c
Add an article
a
show examples
ompany has little time for adjustment. The instability of
self-employment
 would lead to bankrupt and unemployment. When self-employed
restrains
Change the verb form
restrain
show examples
 people’s development, job interviewing and finding jobs in companies would be much difficult. From what has been discussed,
self-employment
 has its advantages and disadvantages. People need to consider their situations comprehensively to make a serious decision of self-employing.
Submitted by 540361084 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • freedom
  • pursue
  • passion
  • interest
  • income
  • financial success
  • control
  • working hours
  • work-life balance
  • empowerment
  • ownership
  • job security
  • stability
  • financial challenges
  • isolation
  • social interaction
  • self-discipline
  • motivation
  • deadlines
  • supervisors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: