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Writing Samples
Band 7

nowadays many young people take a gap year do you think advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

In recent years, many young people have chosen to take a
gap
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year
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 after completing a stage of their education.
While
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 some critics argue that
this
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 practice may lead to financial strain and a decline in academic motivation, I firmly believe that its advantages, particularly the opportunities for travel and professional experience, far outweigh the drawbacks.
This
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 essay will discuss both the benefits and disadvantages of taking a
gap
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year
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. One of the main advantages of taking a
gap
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year
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 is the chance to travel. By visiting different countries, young people can experience new cultures, learn foreign languages, and broaden their perspectives.
For example
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, volunteering in rural communities or participating in exchange programs allows them to develop empathy and global awareness.
Such
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 experiences not only enrich personal growth but
also
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 make
students
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 more adaptable and open-minded when they return to academic life. Another significant benefit is the opportunity to gain professional experience. Many
students
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 use
this
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 period to work part-time, complete internships, or engage in community projects. These activities help them acquire practical skills
such
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 as communication, teamwork, and problem-solving, which are highly valued in the job market.
Furthermore
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, earning an income during the
gap
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year
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 can reduce the financial burden of future studies, making
students
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 more financially independent.
On the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages to consider.
Firstly
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, travelling and living abroad can be expensive, and not every family can afford the costs associated with flights, accommodation, and daily expenses
which
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, which
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 causes financial burden, often leading to stress.
Secondly
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, some
students
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 may lose academic momentum, finding it difficult to return to structured study after a
year
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 of freedom.
As a result
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, they may struggle to stay focused or fall behind their peers in terms of academic progress, resulting in a significant decrease in their
achiements
Correct your spelling
achievements
. In conclusion, despite the potential drawbacks of financial strain and a loss of motivation, the benefits of taking a
gap
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year
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—
such
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 as broadening horizons through travel and acquiring valuable work experience—are far more compelling.
Therefore
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, I believe that young people should view a
gap
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year
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 as a worthwhile investment in their personal and professional future.

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coherence
Make the tie of ideas clear by linking each idea to the next one with simple phrases.
coherence
Check small spell and grammar so the read is clean.
task
Add one or two more clear examples to back key ideas.
structure
Keep each sentence simple and short to avoid long lines.
content
Good balance of ideas and clear view that gap year is useful.
structure
Strong plan with intro, two main parts, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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