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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The job market today is very competitive and it is best to choose a career or field of study early in order to get a good job later in life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The world is developing very rapidly, competitiveness among workers is very high and it is considered better to know specialization in earlier ages.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, picking a long life job earlier will not bring the best outcomes.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, people can feel more secure about their future if they choose their jobs from an early age.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is more common
that
Correct your spelling
than

The word that doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
 society, including parents, teachers, schools, friends and other adults push children in high perspective jobs
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as engineering, medicine and computer science. Regarding that, a student will try to maintain basic skills in technology and science. it will probably be more beneficial in the future to know these fields from the school ages. Following that, they will be more proficient than their peers and can show greater results.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, children might not understand what they truly like by their own preferences. It can be easy to push a child in the direction of physics or chemistry, but it may become a hardship to learn these high-paid fields. There are lots of students who are fond of art, music and literature.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many parents consider it as
j
Add an article
a

The noun phrase just hobby seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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ust hobby and forbid to develop it more broadly because it is not appropriate jobs to lead mature life. Children can not develop knowledge in the field they do not like. Everyone should give young people time for them to realise what really matters. They should try themselves in different hobbies or subjects ti really understand what they prefer more than others. To sum up, having their own experience is better than studying one area for the rest of your life. It is not necessary to choose a jog in young ages, it is more important to find a suitable job.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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