Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

#people #money #factor #happiness

Everyone seeks

happiness

, no matter how rich or poor he is. Some people are of the opinion that

money

brings

happiness

whereas others think that any person irrespective of the financial status can be happy. I totally agree

Verify preposition usage

with

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the

second

perspective and believe that cheerfulness is an outcome of our mindset and it has nothing to do with banknotes.

To begin

with,

happiness

is one of the few things which none of the billionaires can trade for

money

. It is often seen that more the

money

someone possesses more the challenges he faces. Most of the filthy rich

business men

Correct your spelling

businessmen

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develops

Change the verb form

develop

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an insatiable thrust for

money

and

consequently

Add a comma

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they sacrifice their family time and mental peace in the chase for acquiring more wealth. They may be capable of gifting their children the most expensive products but struggles to find time to spend a happy moment with family due to busy schedule . The recent suicide of a famous affluent CCD owner is a classical example of

this

scenario.

On the other hand

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even though

money

plays a crucial role in all our lives an impecunious family can live happily if the members are supportive and loving with one another and

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

the willingness to live merrily and work hard to make ends meet. Clearly

Add a comma

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impoverished children playing on the roads are often seen ebullient than rich kids locked up in their limousine with video games. People can be happy in any situation if they have a positive attitude and see life effortlessly notwithstanding the circumstances. To sum up

Add a comma

show examples

money

is not essential to be happy. Anyone who has the enthusiasm to live joyfully and contently can seek

happiness

in all situations .

Submitted by dipalisklc on Mon Dec 28 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

Various career and academic choices taken by high school graduates in Lakeside country in 2010 and 2020.

Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other countries have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The problem with society today is that it is essentially unbalanced, with some people being paid huge salaries to work very long hours, whilst others do not have a job and have too much time on their hands. There is no middle ground. Do you agree or disagree?

It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than that of young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?