The use of violence in music lyrics, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The vast majority is worrying owing to a high level of crime content in social media and computer games seeing by children.
Such
Linking Words
issues as increasing of vandalism and damage to children's health might appear,
however
Linking Words
, they could be solved with the help of a government and attentive parenting.
To begin
Linking Words
, the
first
Linking Words
concern is that level of crime committed by the young would rapidly grow up. It is common knowledge that children are good at copying what they see,
hence
Linking Words
, the abuse and cruelty they see while playing video games or enjoy music would be captured in an immature brain,
moreover
Linking Words
, those children may try to simulate a robbery or burglary. The
second
Linking Words
problem is the undermining of mental and physical health. It is proven by scientists that watching someone being tortured or doing illegal actions lead to mental disorder and frequent suicide attempts. To counteract these dangers
first
Linking Words
step should be taken is a strict prohibition of cruel content in mass products. If the government would check all information that has to be sell,
besides
Linking Words
, implement punishment for offenders, all these actions would reduce
such
Linking Words
negative content.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
second
Linking Words
remedy to lessen the impact on teenagers is cautious parenting. Nowadays many child-control systems for TV and internet access are available,
moreover
Linking Words
, being aware of what their children like to play, parents may suggest them more peaceful games. In conclusion, a lot of anxiety about the young observed due to usage of cruel and violence in
such
Linking Words
matters as music, movies, and video games. The issues of it seem to be children's health reduction and increasing of crime number,
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
could be solved with the government control and parents' attention.
Submitted by zere.lepessova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Desensitize
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Antisocial behavior
  • Bullying
  • Stress-related disorders
  • Media literacy
  • Critical evaluation
  • Age-appropriate media
  • Regulations
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Responsible media consumption
What to do next:
Look at other essays: