IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring up their children. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #course #children
Presently, families think that parenting training course
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 needful to support their
childen
Correct your spelling
children
.From my point of view, I agree that parents should join
to
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 training about how to teach their kids. On the one hand, around the world, a lot of people have babies every year, so several families decide to go to
t
Add an article
a
the
show examples
raining class.
However
, some people disagree about
this
 because they think that there are many drawbacks.
Firstly
, they say parents should have their style to teach their children.
Secondly
, they can ask some people that have babies before
such
 as friends, cousins and
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
Last
 but not least, people believe that learn about kids subjects are very expensive and
their
Change the pronoun
they
show examples
 lose their money. Father and mother should save up their money.
On the other hand
,more and more people argue that
this
 program is really necessary because it can help them how to teach their
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
.There are many reasons why
that
Remove the determiner
apply
show examples
people believe it.
Firstly
, they will know how to teach children to be good and kind people.
Secondly
, parents have a recommend about
c
Add an article
the
show examples
are
Verify preposition usage
of
about
show examples
their babies.
Lastly
, other people think that they look interested and serious due to they want to teach kids better. To sum up,
t
Add an article
a
the
show examples
raining program for parents is very
essentail
Correct your spelling
essential
 to take care
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
their kids.
Moreover
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly agree that father and mother should go to practice
this
 program.
Submitted by thanaruporn.1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parenting training
  • child-rearing
  • valuable guidance
  • effective techniques
  • child development
  • psychology
What to do next:
Look at other essays: