IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #time
Economically successful nations have
h
Add an article
a
show examples
igher number of working hours per day as compared to the nations who are not financially successful.
This
 essay does not agree that average working hours is directly related to countries economy and it will be justified in following paragraphs by submitting arguments
such
 as national policies and natural resources are the key determining factors of a good economy.
First
 and foremost, national policies formed by the government have a huge impact on the ease of doing
business
 scale of a country which
further
 effects
a
Add an article
the
show examples
mount of foreign investment.
Moreover
, its own citizens would not be able to start their ventures if rules and regulations are very stringent.
For instance
,
although
 working hours are more in developing nations
such
 as in India but because of poor performance in ease of doing
business
 index it has not been able to attract investment at large scale as compared to other developed nations with less working hours but
business friendly
Add a hyphen
business-friendly
show examples
 national policies
such
 as the United State of America.
In addition
 to that, natural resources of a
nation
 have a significant impact on
in
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
its wealth. If a country is rich in some kind of minerals or fossil fuels et cetera than it can create
a
Change the article
an
show examples
wful lot of employment opportunity which can lead to
f
Add an article
the
show examples
inancial wellbeing of the
nation
.
For example
, Dubai is rich in natural resources like oil because of which it has been able to become
d
Add an article
a
show examples
eveloped
nation
 and possess one of the best
economy
Change to a plural noun
economies
show examples
 in the world. To conclude, average working hours of a country is not related to its economic success but other
factor
Change the wording
factors
show examples
such
 as its policies related to
business
 sectors and availability of raw material in abundance are the main deciding factors of
w
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ealth of a
nation
.
Submitted by sachender123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic success
  • working hours
  • productivity
  • sustainable development
  • work-life balance
  • labor laws
  • efficiency
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • burnout
  • occupational health
  • technological innovation
  • industrialized nations
  • emerging economies
  • workforce
  • competitiveness
  • workplace culture
  • employee turnover
  • quality of life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: