IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Nowadays, there is no need for museums and art galleries anymore.since everything is accessible through internet, people can find historic facts there. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons and examples of your personal knowledge.

#museums #art #galleries #internet #people #facts
In recent years,
art
 exhibitions and public museums have almost lost their publicities due to the accessibility of the Internet. Even though people can gain
e
Add an article
an
show examples
normous amount of
information
 about historic objects and
art works
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
 by searching for them within websites,I strongly disagree that
such
 places are no longer needed. By the advent of technology and emergence of the internet, a growing number of search engines offer us details about what we can find in historical museums and
gallaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 exhibiting
art works
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
 by a few clicks, but websites can only give us a limited range of knowledge, and as it is said
Add the punctuation
:
show examples
“limited knowledge is always dangerous”.
In other words
, people can claim that they have
broaden
Change the verb form
broadened
show examples
they
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 knowledge related to
art
 and history while in fact, they do not have enough valid
information
 about them.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
,since all online resources are not valid, the
information
 might be
manupulated
Correct your spelling
manipulated
.
In addition
,it is undeniable that lots of useful national and international
information
 related to
art
 and history
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 found in exhibitions, which still grab both families and educational systems’ attention.they believe that
such
 places are the best sources for youngs to learn about cultural heritage.
For example
,some school staff incorporate some practical lessons into pupils’ curriculum which force them to visit
art
 and historical galleries
in
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
 a regular basis with their tutors as obligatory
cources
Correct your spelling
courses
.
This
 is believed to be helpful for children to develop their creativity. In conclusion,
although
 the development of the internet
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 eased our lifestyle
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
,it can not render
art
 exhibitions and museums isolated because they can protect them in the best way.
Submitted by suna.habibi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: