Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #music #schools #part #whilst #waste #time #resources

Learning

music

contributes significantly to student’s upbringing and development, according to certain people.

However

, some would consider it useless and

unsignificant

Correct your spelling

insignificant

. I think schools should teach

music

because it has valuable benefits that cannot

be exist

Change the verb form

exist

show examples

in other subjects.

Music

has a positive impact on

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

children development. It helps students to be more creative and inventive because it broadens their horizons. Scientific subjects only restrict students minds toward matters related to science and math. Not only does

music

teach

Add an article

the

show examples

tudent how to think out of the box but

also

it helps them to understand others’ emotions and beliefs. A study made by Oxford University found that 76% of students who learn

music

have

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show examples

igher level of emotional intelligence than those who

does

Change the verb form

show examples

not learn it.

Hence

, playing musical instruments play a pivotal role in shaping student personality. Those opposed to

this

say that

music

can not add any value to a student’s academic progress. Some parents believe that playing

the

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apply

show examples

musical instruments could distract their children’s attention from their studies.

This

perspective has stemmed from the fact that most of the jobs are controlled by those who did well in scientific subjects. If school allocates more resources for

music

, it will affect negatively the education process. The Sunday Times reported recently that only 10% of musician succussed in creating a reputable career for themselves.

However

, focusing only on teaching the scientific courses would isolate students from connecting with their innate feelings and made them feel like machines. In conclusion,

Although

learning

music

can help

Add an article

the

show examples

tudent to learn more about his personality and feeling , others argue that it is utterly a waste of time. I think

music

should be added to the academic curriculum because it expands

Add an article

the

show examples

upil’s mind.

Submitted by khadega.amer09 on Tue Dec 29 2020

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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Sentence 2 - Example
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental
instilling
discipline
team work
emotional intelligence
stress relief
well-rounded
allocated
STEM subjects
practical
job market
detract
core subjects
enhance
cognitive functions
curriculum
vital
enriching

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Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.