IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #technology #space #exploration
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Numerous characters deem the expenditure we have consumed in
revolusioning
Correct your spelling
revolutionising
revolutionizing
 a state of the art of mechanics invented to study the universe was utterly
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
wrong ;
in contrast
Linking Words
, certain groups of people oppose and affirm
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 should get directed to other fields. I reckon it is more advantageous to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on other needs.
First
Linking Words
 of all, I assume there is no virtue in researching space, as we had not even discovered the
mystories
Correct your spelling
mysteries
show examples
 of the
world
Use synonyms
. What we can take from the universe? a bunch of meteors?. All the discoveries human-beings have made are not based on space materials but the
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
 of the planet
world
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Rayleigh, the former worker of Nasa, once said, astronomy science is
e
Add an article
an
show examples
xpensive way of squandering
money
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, since the population of the
world
Use synonyms
 will not deserve profit from astronomy, administrations should spend funds to settle issues existing in the
world
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is an inevitable fact that our planet is a place where various problems encounter with citizens every day, and to reduce the number of obstacles; governments should invest
money
Use synonyms
 in
r
Add an article
the
show examples
ight fields.
For example
Linking Words
, in every 15
Linking Words
second
Change to a plural noun
seconds
show examples
 one human pass away because of starving in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South Africa, so it is obviously one of the
world
Use synonyms
's major issue.
Thus
Linking Words
, the United Nation have to fund
money
Use synonyms
 in exporting goods to Africa but not to space study. In conclusion, from ideas and examples given, I firmly believe communities need
p
Add the particle
to
show examples
ut financing into solving global concerns to make the
world
Use synonyms
m
Add an article
a
show examples
uch happier place, as there is no goodness in exploring stars.
Submitted by munkhijn_2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: