IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #technology #space #exploration
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Numerous characters deem the expenditure we have consumed in
revolusioning
Correct your spelling
revolutionising
revolutionizing
 a state of the art of mechanics invented to study the universe was utterly
a
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apply
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wrong ;
in contrast
, certain groups of people oppose and affirm
this
money
 should get directed to other fields. I reckon it is more advantageous to spend
money
 on other needs.
First
 of all, I assume there is no virtue in researching space, as we had not even discovered the
mystories
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mysteries
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 of the
world
. What we can take from the universe? a bunch of meteors?. All the discoveries human-beings have made are not based on space materials but the
resourses
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resources
 of the planet
world
.
For instance
, Rayleigh, the former worker of Nasa, once said, astronomy science is
e
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an
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xpensive way of squandering
money
.
Hence
, since the population of the
world
 will not deserve profit from astronomy, administrations should spend funds to settle issues existing in the
world
.
Secondly
, it is an inevitable fact that our planet is a place where various problems encounter with citizens every day, and to reduce the number of obstacles; governments should invest
money
 in
r
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the
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ight fields.
For example
, in every 15
second
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seconds
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 one human pass away because of starving in
the
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apply
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South Africa, so it is obviously one of the
world
's major issue.
Thus
, the United Nation have to fund
money
 in exporting goods to Africa but not to space study. In conclusion, from ideas and examples given, I firmly believe communities need
p
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to
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ut financing into solving global concerns to make the
world
m
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a
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uch happier place, as there is no goodness in exploring stars.
Submitted by munkhijn_2001 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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