Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion

In recent years, it is often suggested that professional physical game players have become ideals for young ones, whereas others argue that they have been not. In
this
essay, I will elaborate on both aspects of it but personally, I agree that the benefits of physical athletes’ influences for children that these players include abilities
such
as perfect self-managed and following timetable exactly
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
outweigh the apparent adverse impacts of them.
To begin
with, it is
r
Add an article
the
a
show examples
epresentative argument of professional athletes’ incompetence for young people's mental health. More importantly, not every athletes’ behaviours are always being right.
In other words
, they sometimes have been controversial around
w
Add an article
the
show examples
orld by dishonesty sportsmanship.
For instance
, relying on toxic pills which could improve their abilities more than they could and they sometimes fought with the public, using their physical prevailing skills.
Therefore
, if young ones have
notice
Change the form of the verb
noticed
show examples
that one winner won the game using improper methods like as mentioned above examples, it will not
be merits
Change the verb form
merit
show examples
for minor’s mental. On contrary,
however
, there are several merits of physical game players as I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of it.
First
, these athletes know beneficial tips for controlling their time and self-managed so they will be appropriate teachers for young people for explaining those tips.
Second
, when they illustrate various stories which involved successful winning games or struggling sometimes but overcoming plots, these success myths will absolutely impress for young’s motivation.
Hence
, it is positive to utilize physical athletes by people, especially schools and parents, for improving young people’s motivation. In conclusion, as stated above, professional players,
although
having troubles
by
Verify preposition usage
with
show examples
improper athletes, are more likely to have advantages for young people.
Thus
, I claim that parents and relevant educational institutes cooperate to hire athletes in the specific seminars which could become chances for children having appropriate encouragement
Submitted by kooji6856 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • exemplify
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • humble beginnings
  • motivate
  • inspire
  • teamwork
  • sportsmanship
  • negative behavior
  • drug abuse
  • unlawful activities
  • sensationalizes
  • unrealistic
  • unattainable standards
  • material success
  • skewed value system
  • high visibility
  • magnifies
  • faults
  • misleading
What to do next:
Look at other essays: