Task 2: Some people believe that young people should spend more of their time with their families and less on entertainment outside the home. Others disagree.

#people #time #families #entertainment #home

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Some people believed that youngsters should allocate much of their recreational

time

for their families

instead

of entertaining themselves outside. While it is true that young individuals spend their

time

virtually with family, I believe

it s

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

also

possible to expand social circle. On the one hand, there are some reasons why spend

time

with family at home is much more important .

First

of all, young people can learn traditional and ethical values in a safe way at home. The main reason for

this

argument is that family

is not only give

Change the verb form

is not only giving

show examples

them

Add an article

show examples

oral message but

also

play an essential role in forming

Add an article

the

show examples

haracter process.

Additionally

Add an article

the

show examples

amily provide orientation for young ones to go on the right track, and

this

also

a source of motivation and inspiration for them to keep moving forward and reach the zenith of success. So all in all family is of the most

importance

Replace the word

important

show examples

for the youngsters.

On the other hand

, some people utter that having a wide social circle is significantly vital.

This

is due to fact that it is an excellent way to learn

Add an article

the

show examples

nterpersonal skill as well as improve conflict management skill and

therefore

handle life’s problem better when they enter life.

In contrast

, children who do not have much

relation ship

Correct your spelling

relationship

show examples

apart from their family tend to be anti-social.

Furthermore

, some people feel stress out because of working in a competitive environment and put under pressure on a frequent basis.

This

is the reason why they have a habit of going out to bars, restaurants or cafe in the weekend to feel at ease and recharge their battery after a hectic schedule. In conclusion ,

although

enjoying entertainment

time

outside is extremely crucial,

time

-sharing laughs and happiness with family

Change the verb form

are

show examples

of value. I believe that young people should distribute their leisure

time

efficiently for both family and themselves.

Submitted by hellenkeler3108 on Sun Jan 03 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Task 2: Some people believe that young people should spend more of their time with their families and less on entertainment outside the home. Others disagree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think we should do more to prevent crimes, while others believe that we can do little for this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Dieting can change a person's life for the better or ruin one's health completely. What is your opinion?

Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the success of life is based on hard work and determination. Others, however, believe that there are important factors, such as having money or a good appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.