IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that young people can learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games. Others argue that people who play electronic and computer games are wasting their time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #skills #computer #games #time
These days, there are enormous fun activities in which a
child
 can participate. Some people claim that young individuals should get involved in activities
such
 as playing electronic and
computer
 games. While others assert that these interests only waste the time. In
this
 essay, I will explain both the views in the following paragraphs before coming to a final conclusion. On the one hand, supporters for engaging children in electronic devices and playing games on a
computer
 believe that these interests help a young individual to think in a rational way. Playing a particular game on the
computer
 requires lots of different perspectives and only with a correct decision, a player can win the game.
For instance
, in many puzzle games, on any wrong move, a player gets a penalty, so
this
 encourages the player to move in the right direction. Overall, with these games,it cultivates a wider perspective in a
child
 which is certainly a vital skill.
On the other hand
, people oppose that children should not play games on the
computer
 and electronic devices, they explain in their favour that young people should more concentrate on their academics than on these games. Indeed, there are a plethora of other activities
such
 as sports, yoga and mind classes, in which a
child
 can take part to spend his leisure time.
Moreover
,
computer
 games are addictive in nature, once the
child
 starts taking interest in these games, he lives in his own gaming world which can have various detrimental impacts on his/her real life.
Therefore
, due to these reasons, people emphasize more on other activities than on playing games on the
computer
. All in all,
although
 involving in
computer
 games and playing electronic cultivate cognitive abilities in the young one, the side-effects of these activities cannot be ignored. I believe, young individuals should not play games on the
computer
 because of their negative consequences on their mind and behaviour,
also
 there are more ways that children can learn similar skills in other activities.
Submitted by smily446 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: