Some people think watching TV is bad for children, while others think that watching TV has more beneficial effects on children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #tv #children #effects

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Several people believe that

hchildren

Correct your spelling

children

who watch

Use synonyms

programs are many drawbacks.

However

Linking Words

, other people say there are more benefits than people think. From my point of view, there are disadvantages outweigh advantages. Presently, more and more kids love to

watching

Change the form of the verb

watch

show examples

videos

Verify preposition usage

show examples

television and smartphone. If children watch a

lot

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of it, it makes

Add an article

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ad effect

Verify preposition usage

show examples

them. Even though, a large group of people think that there are benefits because many channels in televisions have not only

cartoon

Use synonyms

programs but

also

Linking Words

education programs too.

For example

Linking Words

, kids prefer

Verify preposition usage

apply

show examples

watching

cartoon

Use synonyms

channels. It has one channel that kids love, it is

boomberang

Correct your spelling

boomerang

channel. In

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

programs have a

lot

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cartoon

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types

such

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as adventures, comedies and

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

. If parents open about knowledge channels, they can learn many things in cartoons.

On the other hand

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, more and more people argue that watching

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are

Change the verb form

show examples

lot

Use synonyms

of drawbacks because many children watch

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programs too much, they watch it approximately 5-6 hours per day, so it makes them have a

lot

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of problems.

Firstly

Linking Words

, they will have

Add an article

show examples

roblem

Verify preposition usage

with

show examples

their eyes and healths because they take a long time to focus on

Use synonyms

Add an article

the

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v screen, their eyes may lose sight and dry.

Secondly

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, they can addict to watch

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, and they do not want to do anything else.

Finally

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, they will change about their personality and emotion like when parents want to use their children hands, they do not want to help and refuse their parents because they do not want to miss every part about

Use synonyms

Add an article

show examples

artoon which they watching.

Thus

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, parents should have

limits

Change the verb form

limited

show examples

Verify preposition usage

show examples

how long can they watch

Use synonyms

Add an article

the

show examples

artoon. To sum up, several people say watching

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is a bad effect

for

Verify preposition usage

show examples

children. Howsoever, others think that

Use synonyms

Add an article

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ood effect too and I believe that

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is made a

lot

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of disadvantages for kids.

Submitted by thanaruporn.1 on Tue Jan 05 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary behavior
unrealistic perceptions
creative pursuits
social development
emotional development
constructive content
screen time
parental guidance
critical thinking
active learning
age-appropriate
media literacy
family bonding
moderation
perceive

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