IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the future, people may have to live on other planets. Some think that is therefore important to spend money researching other planets such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #planets #think #money
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
 a lot of
study
Change to a plural noun
studies
show examples
 is being done to explore the existence of
life
 on planets other than Earth and various governments of different countries are funding a huge amount of finances to do
this
research
 .
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some people believe that it is crucial to spend the
money
 on doing study related to
e
Add an article
the
show examples
xistence of
life
 on other heavenly bodies , I disagree with
this
 statement because the idea of
life
 on other planets is still a
theoratical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
 concept.
Money
 spent on the analysis leads to the stagnant economy and hampers the development of the country.
Firstly
 , even today the possibility of
life
 on other planets like Mars is an imaginary concept . For more than a century , many nations are spending a huge budget on
research
 and launching the expensive satellites in the space. But till today they could not find any hard evidence to support
life
 on anywhere else other than Mother Earth .
For instance
 ,
Although
 researchers have been able to find small traces of water on Mars ,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
they could not justify the existence of rocks and
non
Add a hyphen
non-existance
show examples
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 of
a
Add an article
the
an
show examples
tmosphere which are vital for
s
Add an article
the
show examples
urvival of the human
life
 . As a lot of finances are spent on
research
 , there are some industrialized nations and many developing countries where people could not afford basic
ameneties
Correct your spelling
amenities
 of
life
such
 as food , shelter .  Due to
o
Add an article
the
show examples
verspending of
money
 on
s
Add an article
the
show examples
tudy of space , even the infrastructure of the country is not developed .
For example
 in India, there are many families who are destitute and their kids have to sleep empty stomach every night which leads to
m
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ajor problem of malnutrition in children .
Also
 according to California Housing Survey ,
n
Change the article
the
show examples
umber of homeless people in San Francisco is increasing at
r
Add an article
a
the
show examples
ate of 5% every year . To conclude , I believe that
instead
 of spending
money
 on
research
 to find the survival of
life
 on other planets ,
Goverment
Correct your spelling
Government
 should consider the development of
n
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ation as priority and
money
 obtained from taxes, revenue should be spent on building the fine infrastructure of the country as there are tons of people who are deprived of daily necessities of
life
 .
Submitted by gunjan.goel71 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: