IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, prison is the most common solution for crimes. However, many think that better education is the most effective way to prevent people from committing further crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #prison #crimes #education #people #crime
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Crime
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The crime
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 rate is alarmingly increasing in all over the world. In many countries, the most common punishment for
the
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apply
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criminals
is
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in
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p
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a
the
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rison. Whereas,
crime
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 can be prevented
,
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apply
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 if people receive adequate
education
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 and they will understand the consequences they have to face for their criminal activity. I disagree
to
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with
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this
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 statement to a great extend.
To begin
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, lack of
education
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 leads to many criminal activities so
instead
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 of
keep
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keeping
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 them in a
prison
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 government should provide them
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with
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education
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 and make them understand about legal and illegal activities.
Furthermore
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, if people have better
education
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 they know about legislations and they are aware
about
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of
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 the outcomes if someone breaks the law.
For example
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, there are specials laws for teenage who do
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c
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the
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rime, as they do not have adequate
knowlegde
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knowledge
 so government provide them special counselling and they advise them to take
education
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first
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 rather than putting them
in to
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into
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prison
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.
On the other hand
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, when criminals spend years in jail they become stubborn and aggressive.
However
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, if they receive
b
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a
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etter
education
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also
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, they will stay criminals because of certain reasons.
Firstly
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, when they came out of
prison
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 everybody
stare
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stares
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 them with a criminal eye.
Secondly
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, after completion of their punishment
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,
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they again come back to their criminal surrounding which
force
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forces
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 them to do
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c
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the
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rime again and again.
In addition
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, some of the major crimes were done by educated people they use their skills to do
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c
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the
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rime. For illustration, the biggest scam in 1992 was done by Harshad Mehta who completed his graduation in business management.
Thus
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, sometimes
education
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 cannot prevent
crime
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. In conclusion, there is no denying that good
education
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 will reduce
crime
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 but it is evident that once a criminal will always stay a criminal and there is nothing that stops them.
Hence
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, in my opinion
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,
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prison
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 and direct encounter will be the best solution to stop
crime
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 and stop people
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from
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being criminals.
Submitted by JIGISHA on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • moral understanding
  • punitive measures
  • root causes
  • recidivism
  • socioeconomic factors
  • deter criminals
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social integration
  • maintenance
  • construction
  • traditional views
  • productive members
  • knowledge
What to do next:
Look at other essays: