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Band 5

In many countries, prison is the most common solution for crimes. However, many think that better education is the most effective way to prevent people from committing further crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #prison #crimes #education #people #crime
The
crime
 rate is alarmingly increasing in all over the world. In many countries, the most common punishment for criminals
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
p
Add an article
a
the
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rison. Whereas,
crime
 can be prevented
,
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apply
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 if people receive adequate
education
 and they will understand the consequences they have to face for their criminal activity. I disagree
to
Verify preposition usage
with
show examples
this
 statement to a great extend.
To begin
, lack of
education
 leads to many criminal activities so
instead
 of
keep
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keeping
show examples
 them in a
prison
 government should provide them
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with
show examples
education
 and make them understand about legal and illegal activities.
Furthermore
, if people have better
education
 they know about legislations and they are aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the outcomes if someone breaks the law.
For example
, there are specials laws for teenagers who do
c
Add an article
the
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rime, as they do not have adequate
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 so government provide them special counselling and they advise them to take
education
first
 rather than putting them
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
prison
.
On the other hand
, if they receive
b
Add an article
a
show examples
etter
education
also
, they will stay criminals because of certain reasons.
Firstly
, when they came out of
prison
 everybody
stare
Change the verb form
stares
show examples
 them with a criminal eye.
Secondly
, some of the major crimes were done by educated people they use their skills to do
c
Add an article
the
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rime. For illustration, the biggest scam in 1992 was done by Harshad Mehta who completed his graduation in business management. In conclusion, there is no denying that good
education
 will reduce
crime
 but it is evident that once a criminal will always stay a criminal and there is nothing that stops them.
Hence
, in my opinion
Add the comma(s)
,
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prison
 and direct encounter will be the best solution to stop
crime
 and stop people
Verify preposition usage
from
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being criminals.
Submitted by JIGISHA on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • moral understanding
  • punitive measures
  • root causes
  • recidivism
  • socioeconomic factors
  • deter criminals
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social integration
  • maintenance
  • construction
  • traditional views
  • productive members
  • knowledge
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