In many countries, prison is the most common solution for crimes. However, many think that better education is the most effective way to prevent people from committing further crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The
crime
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rate is alarmingly increasing in all over the world. In many countries, the most common punishment for criminals
is
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in

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

p
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a
the

The noun phrase prison seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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rison. Whereas,
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be prevented
,
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apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker if. Consider removing the comma.

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if people receive adequate
education
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and they will understand the consequences they have to face for their criminal activity. I disagree
to
Verify preposition usage
with

It appears that the preposition to may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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this
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statement to a great extend.
To begin
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, lack of
education
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leads to many criminal activities so
instead
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of
keep
Change the verb form
keeping

The verb keep may be in the wrong form after the preposition instead of. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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them in a
prison
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

government should provide them
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with

It appears that there is a missing preposition after the word them. Consider adding the preposition.

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education
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and make them understand about legal and illegal activities.
Furthermore
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, if people have better
education
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they know about legislations and they are aware
about
Change the preposition
of

The preposition about after the adjective aware may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

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the outcomes if someone breaks the law.
For example
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, there are specials laws for teenagers who do
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

c
Add an article
the

The noun phrase crime seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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rime, as they do not have adequate
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge

The word knowlegde is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

so government provide them special counselling and they advise them to take
education
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

first
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rather than putting them
in to
Join the words
into

It appears that the two words in and to should be one word.

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prison
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
On the other hand
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, if they receive
b
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a

It appears that an article is missing before the word better. Consider adding the article.

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etter
education
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

also
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, they will stay criminals because of certain reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words

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, when they came out of
prison
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

everybody
stare
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stares

It appears that the indefinite pronoun everybody does not agree with the verb stare in your sentence. Consider changing the form of the verb.

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them with a criminal eye.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some of the major crimes were done by educated people they use their skills to do
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

c
Add an article
the

The noun phrase crime seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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rime. For illustration, the biggest scam in 1992 was done by Harshad Mehta who completed his graduation in business management. In conclusion, there is no denying that good
education
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will reduce
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

but it is evident that once a criminal will always stay a criminal and there is nothing that stops them.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in my opinion
Add the comma(s)
,

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter in my opinion. Consider adding the comma(s).

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prison
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and direct encounter will be the best solution to stop
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and stop people
Verify preposition usage
from

It appears that there is a missing preposition after the word people. Consider adding the preposition.

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being criminals.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • moral understanding
  • punitive measures
  • root causes
  • recidivism
  • socioeconomic factors
  • deter criminals
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social integration
  • maintenance
  • construction
  • traditional views
  • productive members
  • knowledge
What to do next:
Look at other essays: