Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person's nature. Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion.

People have always discussed what makes criminals
to
Change the verb form
apply

It appears that the verb to commit should be in the bare infinitive form. Consider removing to from in front of this verb.

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commit crimes. Some people argue that a poor economic background is the main
reason
of
Verify preposition usage
for

It appears that the preposition of may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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committing crimes while others think the
reason
is one’s
nature
. In
this
essay, I will deal with both opinions and conclude with my idea, mostly what I think the main
reason
is. There are some people who say poor economic background triggers people to commit crimes because criminals cannot survive in
this
harsh world. Since they suffer from insufficient resources
such
as food and water, they are more likely to think about crimes and behave in wrong ways to maintain their lives.
For example
, committing frauds to earn big amount of money in
s
Add an article
a

The noun phrase short time seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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hort time, can be a case. If they were economically advantaged people, they would not try to commit these
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours

The spelling of behaviors is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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.
Thus
, people who have a bad economic background tend to commit crimes more than others.
However
, other people suggest that people’s
nature
is the main
reason
for crimes. When it comes to serious crimes, some people take other’s lives away for no big
reason
.
Also
, some people rape and murder just because they enjoy committing
such
crimes and
this behaviors
Change the determiner
this behavior
these behaviors

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun behaviors. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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can be explained with their natures. A psychopath can be one example. A psychopath refers to those people who got brain damaged and
therefore
, who cannot able to empathize to others feelings. Psychopaths are more likely to abuse animals and commit murder, so
as a result
, the main
reason
for crime is people’s
nature
. In my opinion, I think one’s
nature
affects more than economic environments because there are people who work so hard to live under laws even though they are economically disadvantaged. A friend of mine,
for example
, work more than 90 hours per week while taking classes in her university. She is not a wealthy person, but she never thought about committing crimes. As there are so many people who try to live hard while not thinking about illegal things, the main
reason
for committing
c
Add an article
a
the

The noun phrase crime seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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rime is people’s
nature
.
Submitted by kooji6856 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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