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Band 5

A person's health is their own responsibility rather than the government's responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#person #health #responsibility #government
Nowadays, keep ourselves healthy is the greatest job to survive in the polluted environment and to keep ourself safe from the spread of deadly disease. While
,
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apply
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 some people believe that it is a
person
's
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to keep themselves healthy and it does not come in
r
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the
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esponsibility of government. I agree with
this
 statement to a great extent and I will support my stand with valid arguments in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, it's the
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
individuals'
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 concern to take
care
 of themselves because
this
 is the small thing which can be done by them easily.
Furthermore
, there are many ways available for people and if they do not put effort to improve their health,
then
 they are in fault.
For example
, if a
person
 wants to do multi-tasking like studies, job and handle his own family,
then
 that
person
 has to take
care
 of his health as nobody going to do all
this
 work for him.
Secondly
,
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 can only provide
aminities
Correct your spelling
amenities
 and to use them can be done by humans like they can go hospitals for treatment, they can do regular
excersise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 in
g
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ym, take medicines on time and all
this
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these
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 activities does not include anything from governing bodies. For illustration, a recent survey from WHO concluded that the government of America declared that they are not responsible
,
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 if anybody gets infected from covid-19 because they made certain rules like people should not come out of their house and if they do not
care
 about
this
, the government is not responsible for the consequences. To sum up, a
person
 is completely responsible for their health and it's their job to stay safe in
a
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an
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 existing environment.
Hence
,
p
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a
the
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erson can use every possible medical
facilities
Change to a singular noun
facility
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 provided by
a
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the
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dministration but it's their duty to take
care
.
Submitted by JIGISHA on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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