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Band 6.5

These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#families #move #countries #work #people #children #benefit #life
Migration is one of the
trend
Change to a plural noun
trends
show examples
Verify preposition usage
of
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today's generations and many think that
this
 can be good for their kids while others disagree about
this
. In
this
 essay, I will tackle both sides and give my own perspective. Working abroad is one of the desires of many, especially if it can give them a good life which provides them with a good income. Other families think that it is good and their
children
 could benefit to it by having a good education and by providing them what they need, since moving to another country they will experience another culture and another way of living.
On the other hand
, some
children
 find it difficult due to some reasons, like adjustments with the new
place
 and leaving behind their friends. They would experience depression and loneliness because they cannot relate to the people
there
Correct your spelling
they're
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 living with. They can have
a
Change the article
apply
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time to learn their language if
Add the comma(s)
,
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for example
, they move to the
place
 where people speak differently from their native dialect.
For instance
, it can be frustrating
also
 for the kids to play or go around because they are not familiar with the
place
 yet.
Therefore
 it may be a good idea if the family wanted to move to another country they would visit and have some vacation
instead
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that their
children
 will get to know the
place
 and it makes them comfortable because they already like. In conclusion, as a family making decision should consider the things what will happen in moving
in
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 another country especially to their kids, it could affect both negative and positive to their
children
.
Submitted by abaloraemie on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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