Should governments reduce funding for the arts to allocate more resources to education? Do you agree or disagree?
A developing trend in contemporary society involves governments allocating increased financial resources towards
art
courses and activities. While
proponents are advocating for the redirection of these funds towards traditional education
, I maintain that the inclusion of art
within educational frameworks is dominant and plays a significant role in the holistic development of individuals.
Supporters of enhancing financial support for education
argue that such
investments would yield numerous benefits. First of all, the infusion of additional funds could enhance the overall
learning environment by enabling educational institutions to acquire advanced resources such
as progressive technological equipment like computers, robotics, and artificial intelligence devices, which offer students access to cutting-edge educational tools. Moreover
, the extension of budgets can serve as a motivation for academic progress. Many academic institutions deal with financial constraints that hinder them from attracting top-tier educators due to
inadequate remuneration. However
, by supporting financial allocations for education
, the government can pave the way for the recruitment of highly qualified instructors.
On the other hand
, the allocation of funds towards art
education
is equally essential and serves to mitigate the limitations of a solely traditional educational approach. Firstly
, art
courses play an essential role in fostering students' well-rounded development. For instance
, students studying architectural design must delve into aspects of aesthetics, architectural history, and cultural influences surrounding buildings, offering them a multi-faceted perspective on our built environment beyond mere materialistic considerations. Secondly
, cultivating artistic skills is essential in nurturing creativity among individuals. Engaging in artistic endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
such
as drawing and sculpture nurtures creative thinking, a fundamental component of human advancement.
In summary, while
acknowledging the rationale behind advocating for increased educational funding, I speculate that investing in arts education
holds equal significance. Art
education
not only enriches the academic experience but also
promotes integral skills vital for personal and societal development.Submitted by asim_86d on
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Task Achievement
Ensure your response directly addresses the question asked. Your essay should explicitly state whether you agree or disagree on reallocating funds from the arts to education, and then consistently support your stance throughout.
Task Achievement
To enhance clarity, introduce your opinion in a more explicit manner, making sure to link back to the specific question. A clear thesis statement in the introduction could help achieve this.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of specific examples to support your arguments. While you've provided some examples related to the importance of art in education, integrating detailed instances or statistical evidence could significantly strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is strong, with a logical flow from one idea to the next. Maintain this coherence by using transition words and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
To continue improving coherence and cohesion, consider summarizing your main points in the conclusion, reinforcing your stance and providing a concise overview of your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.