Should governments reduce funding for the arts to allocate more resources to education? Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #arts #resources #education

A developing trend in contemporary society involves governments allocating increased financial resources towards

art

courses and activities.

While

proponents are advocating for the redirection of these funds towards traditional

education

, I maintain that the inclusion of

art

within educational frameworks is dominant and plays a significant role in the holistic development of individuals. Supporters of enhancing financial support for

education

argue that

such

investments would yield numerous benefits. First of all, the infusion of additional funds could enhance the

overall

learning environment by enabling educational institutions to acquire advanced resources

such

as progressive technological equipment like computers, robotics, and artificial intelligence devices, which offer students access to cutting-edge educational tools.

Moreover

, the extension of budgets can serve as a motivation for academic progress. Many academic institutions deal with financial constraints that hinder them from attracting top-tier educators

due to

inadequate remuneration.

However

, by supporting financial allocations for

education

, the government can pave the way for the recruitment of highly qualified instructors.

On the other hand

, the allocation of funds towards

art

education

is equally essential and serves to mitigate the limitations of a solely traditional educational approach.

Firstly

art

courses play an essential role in fostering students' well-rounded development.

For instance

, students studying architectural design must delve into aspects of aesthetics, architectural history, and cultural influences surrounding buildings, offering them a multi-faceted perspective on our built environment beyond mere materialistic considerations.

Secondly

, cultivating artistic skills is essential in nurturing creativity among individuals. Engaging in artistic

endeavors

Change the spelling

endeavours

show examples

such

as drawing and sculpture nurtures creative thinking, a fundamental component of human advancement. In summary,

while

acknowledging the rationale behind advocating for increased educational funding, I speculate that investing in arts

education

holds equal significance.

Art

education

not only enriches the academic experience but

also

promotes integral skills vital for personal and societal development.

Submitted by asim_86d on Mon Mar 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Ensure your response directly addresses the question asked. Your essay should explicitly state whether you agree or disagree on reallocating funds from the arts to education, and then consistently support your stance throughout.

Task Achievement

To enhance clarity, introduce your opinion in a more explicit manner, making sure to link back to the specific question. A clear thesis statement in the introduction could help achieve this.

Task Achievement

Incorporate a wider range of specific examples to support your arguments. While you've provided some examples related to the importance of art in education, integrating detailed instances or statistical evidence could significantly strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your essay is strong, with a logical flow from one idea to the next. Maintain this coherence by using transition words and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion

To continue improving coherence and cohesion, consider summarizing your main points in the conclusion, reinforcing your stance and providing a concise overview of your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In many nations, teenagers are involved in various kind of paid employment. Some would argue that it is totally wrong, while others say that it is fine for children to gain work experience. This essay disagrees for allowing children working at the young age, despite of the experience they gained, they have their right for the time for developments.
7
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Some folks think taking chances is important not just at work but also in our everyday lives. In my option, the pros overweight the cons.
5.5
band
What is the most important thing for governments to spend money on: education, health, transportation, or something else?
Nowadays people have problems with the government because they spend their money on things that are insignificant or sometimes they even steal their money, but we want a change, I would think that money should be spent on health as it is a very important factor and it's too expensive, so the government should spend the money on health, I feel this way for two reasons which I Will explore in the following essay.
7.5
band
Since the beginning of the 20th century, the number of endangered species has increased significantly and we have witnessed more mass extinctions in this period than in any other period of time. State some reasons for this and provide possible solutions.
There is the observation that more and more species are endangered with extinction in the 20th and 21st centuries. It is agreed that human activity and increasing carbon emissions have taken their toll on wildlife over the last decades. This essay will shed some light on the issue and offer a few plausible solutions to resolve the same.
5.5
band
The graph shows the increase in population of three counties Colunbia, Yamhill and Washington in the U.S. state of Oregon, between 1940 and 2000. These three lines experienced an upward tendency, where the highest population was recorded in Washington.
The graph shows the increase in population of three counties Colunbia, Yamhill and Washington in the U.S. state of Oregon, between 1940 and 2000. These three lines experienced an upward tendency, where the highest population was recorded in Washington.

Should governments reduce funding for the arts to allocate more resources to education? Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

What is the most important thing for governments to spend money on: education, health, transportation, or something else?

Since the beginning of the 20th century, the number of endangered species has increased significantly and we have witnessed more mass extinctions in this period than in any other period of time. State some reasons for this and provide possible solutions.

The graph shows the increase in population of three counties Colunbia, Yamhill and Washington in the U.S. state of Oregon, between 1940 and 2000. These three lines experienced an upward tendency, where the highest population was recorded in Washington.