IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#countries #people #stress #measures
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All around the world, more and more
people
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 are struggling to have a well-balanced
life
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. One of the requirements for having a financially stable
life
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 is to
work
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 more than the previous generations.
This
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 is frightening the capacity of
people
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 dealing with their personal necessities
such
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 as family and spare
time
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, leading them to a stressful and poor quality
life
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. In my opinion, the
pressure
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 over
people
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's careers as well as lack of leisure
time
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 is the main reasons for
this
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 to happen.
This
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 can be combated with
people
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 choosing jobs where they can earn enough to keep their families but working no more than eight hours per day and 5 days a week.
People
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 choose jobs that pay more than other positions that offer better flexibility for personal
life
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. A recent survey made all over the United States and Europe have shown that workers nowadays would prefer to
work
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 more
time
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 to increase their wages than to
work
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 fewer hours but maintaining the same salary.
This
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 is clearly the main cause of why employees are facing difficulties to deal with their daily schedule and leading them to a
life
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 of stress. Another reason is the
pressure
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 over the workforce to improve
results
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 and profits for their companies. Many employees are forced to deliver better
results
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 and
this
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pressure
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 makes them sacrifice hours that should be used for leisure to accelerate their tasks at the workplace. A way to solve stress-related problems is to educate
people
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 on how to choose a job. Young adults who are starting their careers are looking only for money.
Thus
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, it can take them to an undesirable and unbalanced
life
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. If they decide to better look for positions that offer more benefits
such
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 as flexibility, longer holidays, and business days
work
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 only; they would probably have more
time
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 to enjoy their free
time
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 as well as their social
life
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.
Therefore
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, it would help them to avoid a stressful
work
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 environment and excess
time
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 working.
This
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 would give them control of their lives and less
pressure
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 over professional
results
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. To conclude,
people
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 are facing much more stress because of the
time
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 they are cutting off their lives due to
work
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 schedule and
pressure
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 for
results
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.
This
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 amount of
time
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 should be used for enjoyment and the social aspect of
people
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's lives. If they decide to chose a job that money and
time
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 at
work
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 is not the key to success,
thus
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, they will face less
pressure
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 and
consequently
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 less stress.
Submitted by ricieri2010 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance
  • Burnout
  • Digital detox
  • Mindfulness
  • Coping mechanisms
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy
  • Financial stability
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Resilience training
  • Support networks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: