Some people think that technology makes life complex, so we should make our life simpler without using the technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #life

Nowadays, it is often suggested that

people

lives

are complicated due to the advent of technological advances. Some

people

argue that the public should admit their lifestyles to being simple without

technology

and personally, I agree which could help

health

mitigation and relationship rearrangement.

To begin

with,

people

's adverse

health

condition obviously demonstrates the matter to the theme. In recent years,

people

have been invaded the private leisure time by electronic gadgets.

That is

because

people

have exposed plenty of data on the Internet during their daily

lives

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they get severe stress rather than relaxation. For these reasons,

people

should prefer to enjoy their simple life for releasing stress and feeling secure.

Therefore

health

deterioration clearly illustrates an epitome of why

people

should maintain

the

Change the article

show examples

plain lifestyle without

technology

intervene. Aside from that, the extremely widened personal relationship coherently depicts the issue at hand. Indeed,

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

improved gadgets and productions have afforded countless opportunities for

people

to converse exotic

people

or to make new relationships. For those intensive

expanses

Correct your spelling

expenses

show examples

, citizens'

lives

tend to be complex for handling. To specify, Instagram users usually upload

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

individual situations and try to develop useless connections with others. If without relying on

technology

’s progress, the public could spend spare time with their closest friends and feeling peaceful.

Hence

, recognizing the personal connections lucidly explains that

people

try to quit using

technology

. In conclusion, it may seem like that our

lives

could be valuable by high

technology

, but the examples for improving

health

and relationships among

people

are more likely to have to own private rest time without scientific development.

Submitted by kooji6856 on Mon Jan 11 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that technology makes life complex, so we should make our life simpler without using the technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The process below shows the Human Resources (HR) recruitment process for a company. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan

Some people government spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuse both view and give your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed rather than work for a company or organisation. Why is this the case ? What are the disadvantages?

Some people think it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinion as them. Other people believe it's good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?