Zoos should be banned because it is cruel to keep wild animals in captivity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Zoos
, nowadays, are becoming very popular before ever.
However
, an argument has been pushed forward that creatures in zoological
parks
are treated with extremely low-grade conditions
and
Correct word choice
which
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might harm them physically and psychologically. I partially agree with the given notion since
zoos
are the best place for education and leisure purposes yet
ministry
Correct article usage
the ministry
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must keep an eye on it. Fundamentally, various
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
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makes
Verb problem
apply
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agree with the presented argument, and there are myriad reasons to
substantiate
Correct pronoun usage
substantiate it
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.
Firstly
, The
wild-animals
Correct your spelling
wild animals
show examples
in zoological
parks
get food without any struggle.
Means
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This means
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to says, the struggle is the best teacher of life, but if struggle gets eliminated from life, the beasts would lose their identity and even their
corwn
Correct your spelling
own
crown
.
For example
, tigers generally eat food in cages without any hunting practice, after which they will not be able to hunt if they are released to wild habitats.
Secondly
, creatures in menageries usually feel slavery. Animals, like humans,
also
have internal
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
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and emotions, which enable them to observe the difference between life in cages and forests.
However
, there are
also
some positive aspects of keeping wild animals in
zoos
. Chiefly,
zoos
are the best places for research and investigation of various facets of a particular animal.
The university
Correct article usage
University
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students frequently visit
zoos
in order to understand the behaviour of animals and to complete their assignments. yet if beasts could be released from these
parks
, it would be a difficult task for investigators to know about wildlife in dense forests.
Moreover
, the typical population can not visit the forest to watch wild species and for them, the
zoos
are the best alternatives.
This
process
also
includes the revenue to
regional
Correct article usage
the regional
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ministry through the sales of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tickets for visiting
such
parks
. In conclusion, many think, and I partially agree, that
zoos
harm wild-beasts in some ways, including physically and psychologically, but positive facets of
such
areas can not be neglected because these
parks
provide locals and educational people to fulfil their requirements. The government must impose some restrictions on
zoos
in regard to harming creatures.
Submitted by sajanbrar0 on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the task but lacks a clear position on the issue. The supporting points are relevant but need clearer development and organization. The conclusion should clearly state the writer's position on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of supporting points lacks coherence and cohesion. Improved transition and organization of ideas are needed to enhance coherence.

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