IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first year after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #women #maternity #jobs #first #year #birth #baby #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The maternity leave provided to new moms has been popular in most of the developed countries nowadays. There are several benefits to
this
Linking Words
 trend and some drawbacks as well.
This
Linking Words
 essay will present some of the pros and cons of
such
Linking Words
 provision and explain why I believe its advantages easily outweigh the disadvantages. To commence with, giving birth to a new life and grooming it, is not an easy task. It is well-known that labour pain is the most dreadful pain which is equivalent to breaking of 50 bones at once. So, obviously,to overcome
such
Linking Words
 unbearable experience of pain and difficulties, mothers deserve paid leaves.
In addition
Linking Words
, the early stage of children is very crucial and the presence of the other to take care of their offsprings is necessary so that she can create and develop a harmonious rapport with the newborn. The recent study done by a group of scientists in Australia showed that children who did not get the opportunity to spend an early couple of years with their mothers did not have good relationships with them and most of them were diagnosed with psychological and social issues. In contrary, there are very negligible drawbacks to
this
Linking Words
 kind of arrangements for providing financial security to the new moms while they are on leaves to take care of their kids. One of them is mothers lagging behind in their careers as compared to their other counterparts, as they will be losing almost a year taking of their new-borns which
otherwise
Linking Words
 they could have invested in upgrading their skills for their professional development.
Also
Linking Words
, the company will have to bear the cost of the amount paid as maternity leaves as well to casual staff replacing them and
hence
Linking Words
, face financial burden. But these cons are negligible in front of the pros it offers. To recapitulate,
although
Linking Words
 providing maternity leaves may have some disadvantages
such
Linking Words
 as hindrance in the professional development of new-moms and financial strain to the company, they can easily be out shadowed by the advantages it avails.
Submitted by binitadangol76 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: