IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued if people should spend too many
hours
Use synonyms
 in their jobs
instead
Linking Words
 of having more free
time
Use synonyms
 to enjoy. In my opinion, the merits of having more leisure
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with relatives and to relax outweigh the drawbacks,
such
Linking Words
 as lower income. On
one
Use synonyms
 hand, there are several advantages of having more free
time
Use synonyms
.
One
Use synonyms
 of them is the opportunity to share more special moments with their family and to build a good relationship with them
instead
Linking Words
 of being most of the day at their
work
Use synonyms
 and may become a stranger to their loved ones. To illustrate,
one
Use synonyms
 who spends too many
hours
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 will probably miss the
first
Linking Words
 steps of their child, and
this
Linking Words
 can not be recovered.
Moreover
Linking Words
, to have more
time
Use synonyms
 to relax and recharge their batteries is important in order to reduce stress, which can even increase efficiency at
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, an employee will have better performance and give better results if they are glad about his job, even though working fewer
hours
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some drawbacks by reducing the working
hours
Use synonyms
. The main disadvantage is that the less
time
Use synonyms
one
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
, the lower the earnings are, and it can be a problem since the cost to have a comfortable life nowadays is tremendously high,
such
Linking Words
 as to buy and maintain a house and be able to provide high-level education to their children. In conclusion, the advantages of having more leisure
time
Use synonyms
 by decreasing the working
hours
Use synonyms
, like having a good
time
Use synonyms
 with relatives and reducing stress, outweigh the disadvantages of lower earnings.
Submitted by eduardamallmann on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: