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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks. This has isolated us physically, making us socially awkward in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

With the advent of the internet, communication among
people
Use synonyms
 has significantly increased.
This
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 development has provided an option to social network websites in offering facilities to users for making
friends
Use synonyms
 without even meeting them physically.
However
Linking Words
,
this
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 facility has resulted in
Correct article usage
the developing
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developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
a
Change preposition
of a
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socially weak
society
Use synonyms
. Owing to
this
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, I agree to a large extent that social media is the main culprit of putting a
person
Use synonyms
 in a socially unusual situation. On the one hand, one of the merits of social
sites
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 is that an individual can make many
friends
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. To explain, as millions of
people
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 are using
such
Linking Words
 websites, a user ,without
hesitating
Replace the word
hesitation
show examples
, can simply send a friend request to any other user.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 facility acts as a boon to many
people
Use synonyms
, especially
Correct pronoun usage
those which
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which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
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 are
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
, in order to make several
friends
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many matrimonial websites
such
Linking Words
 as Matrimonial.com , which are similar to social
sites
Use synonyms
,
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 proven to be a great matchmaker for couples.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 several demerits of social networking,
society
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 is being degraded. Primarily, a
person
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 addicted to these
sites
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 is generally found to have few actual
friends
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 with whom
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can visit and share deeper emotions.
As a result
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,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not sharing
such
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 intense emotions and
feeling
Replace the word
feelings
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 with loved ones
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 sometimes
,
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apply
show examples
 leads to a
person
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 being trapped in depression
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can even force him to take his life.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
WHO
Correct article usage
the WHO
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, in 2018, 80% of cases of suicide were
due to
Linking Words
 depression caused by being in a state of loneliness
due to
Linking Words
 few
friends
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, a
person
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 is found in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 unorthodox situation in
society
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 on many
occasion
Fix the agreement mistake
occasions
show examples
 of happiness and sadness . It is primarily
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that an individual who spends plenty of time on social
sites
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, generally
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 found to have fewer
friends
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 in his vicinity.
Due to
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this
Linking Words
, on several important occasions
such
Linking Words
 as marriage, birthdays and so on, he barely shares the state of happiness with others. Apart from that, in any medical emergency, it is mostly seen that
friends
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, which are living nearer to someone
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 approach for help.
Therefore
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,
due to
Linking Words
above-said
Correct article usage
the above-said
show examples
 reasons, persons dependent on social
sites
Use synonyms
 suffer from its negative effects. To encapsulate,
although
Linking Words
 an individual can make a number of
friends
Use synonyms
 on social
sites
Use synonyms
, yet , in my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 become emotionally undeveloped
due to
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 excessive use of
such
Linking Words
sites
Use synonyms
, which is afflicting
society
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Plan your ideas before you write. Pick 2 or 3 main reasons and add one clear example for each.
task response
Say your view in the first line and keep it in all paragraphs.
coherence and structure
Use one idea per paragraph. Start with a clear topic sentence.
coherence and structures
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, however, and so.
language
Keep sentences short and fix grammar and spelling.
content
You show a clear view from the start.
structure
There is a clear plan with an intro, body and end.
language
You try to discuss both sides of the issue.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connect
  • online
  • offline
  • face-to-face
  • real life
  • social
  • media
  • networks
  • relationships
  • awkward
  • shy
  • confident
  • increase
  • decrease
  • benefit
  • drawback
  • active
  • passive
  • interaction
  • habit
  • balance
  • practice
  • communication
  • support
  • community
  • time
  • meetup
What to do next:
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