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Band 4

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge

#country #health #service #treatments
I consider that, as
ahuman
Correct your spelling
a human
 right,
health
services
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 be available universally and free. In Brazil,
for example
,
health
 care is a constitutional right for every person and it is a State's responsibility to provide
health
services
 through economical and social policies that promote preventive care, protection and rehabilitation.
However
,
that is
 not a reality in many regions of the country and even in different parts of the same city.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 important factor is that as long as medical
treatments
 advance, new technological and other high-cost resources are needed to offer proper
treatments
 to an almost
infinit
Correct your spelling
infinite
rage
Correct your spelling
range
show examples
 of conditions. As a consequence, many people cannot receive
treatments
 once the funds are limited and the demand grows.
Furthermore
, in the case of Brazil, people who have means
a
Add an article
an
show examples
ppeal to the Justice Department to enforce the State to provide access to expensive
treatments
 and medicines and, in general, most of the verdicts are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the demanding parts. As a matter of fact,
that is
 a contradiction in many terms. As an example, in my personal experience, I only have access to
high cost
Add a hyphen
high-cost
show examples
treatments
 in the public
health
 system due to a condition that I would not be able to afford the treatment unless through public policies that
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 medication and exams available and are not covered by my supplementary
health
 insurance.
Although
 these policies are considered
b
Add an article
a
show examples
enchmark to many countries, many basic
health
services
 are still not available universally and
that is
 clearly because of the public budget limits. Another factor that influences
this
 deficiency is the
chronical
Correct your spelling
chronicle
chronic
 inefficiency and
corrupction
Correct your spelling
corruption
 in public
services
 we face in Brazil. To sum up, public
health
 systems do not excel at many
services
, but they are the only option that the most part of
p
Add an article
the
show examples
opulation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
.
That is
 why I believe these
services
 should be free and continuously improved,
otherwise
 many quality of life indicators could never be improved and any country can be developed unless people could have access to
health
services
.
Submitted by ebraimandrade on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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