IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge

#country #health #service #treatments
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I consider that, as
ahuman
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a human
 right,
health
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services
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shoud
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should
 be available universally and free. In Brazil,
for example
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,
health
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 care is a constitutional right for every person and it is a State's responsibility to provide
health
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services
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 through economical and social policies that promote preventive care, protection and rehabilitation.
However
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,
that is
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 not a reality in many regions of the country and even in different parts of the same city.
Other
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Another
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 important factor is that as long as medical
treatments
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 advance, new technological and other high-cost resources are needed to offer proper
treatments
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 to an almost
infinit
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infinite
rage
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range
show examples
 of conditions. As a consequence, many people cannot receive
treatments
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 once the funds are limited and the demand grows.
Furthermore
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, in the case of Brazil, people who have means
a
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an
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ppeal to the Justice Department to enforce the State to provide access to expensive
treatments
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 and medicines and, in general, most of the verdicts are in
favor
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favour
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 of the demanding parts. As a matter of fact,
that is
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 a contradiction in many terms. As an example, in my personal experience, I only have access to
high cost
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high-cost
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treatments
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 in the public
health
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 system due to a condition that I would not be able to afford the treatment unless through public policies that
makes
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make
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 medication and exams available and are not covered by my supplementary
health
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 insurance.
Although
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 these policies are considered
b
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a
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enchmark to many countries, many basic
health
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services
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 are still not available universally and
that is
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 clearly because of the public budget limits. Another factor that influences
this
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 deficiency is the
chronical
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chronicle
chronic
 inefficiency and
corrupction
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corruption
 in public
services
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 we face in Brazil. To sum up, public
health
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 systems do not excel at many
services
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, but they are the only option that the most part of
p
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the
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opulation
have
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has
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.
That is
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 why I believe these
services
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 should be free and continuously improved,
otherwise
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 many quality of life indicators could never be improved and any country can be developed unless people could have access to
health
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services
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.
Submitted by ebraimandrade on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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