some say that music, art and drama all as important as other school subjects especially at primary level. do you agree or disagree.

It is often said that music,
art
and drama all should be given equal priority, like other academic
subjects
in lower school levels. I largely agree with
this
statement because these
art
subjects
would help learners to develop creativity as well as more valuable information.
To begin
with, As in the primary education mind of students is very sharp like a blank page so, it can be filled with many beneficial things. As the arts
subjects
have the potential to make children 's mind more flexible or creative. To elaborate, these
subjects
help learners to more active in their life as well as, it relief their minds from stress.
Moreover
, it can enhance their study performance.
For example
, the educational department from Oxford School of Europe conducted a survey, it shows that the children from schools where
art
subjects
taught behave better in their academics and seem active than the other institution 's trainee.
Therefore
, these kinds of
subjects
contains
Change the verb form
contain

The singular verb contains does not appear to agree with the plural subject kinds. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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many advantages for the students. Moving
further
, as these sorts of drama
subjects
contain very precious information, which is very beneficial for the students. They can get the inspirable messages from them. As in the schools,
this
is necessary to motivate the pupil time to time,
consequently
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,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase consequently. Consider adding a comma.

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they can be motivated from music.
Moreover
, they can
also
recognise their own skills about these
subjects
, they can go for any particular field on the basis of those
subjects
.
For instance
, the survey from The Newyork Times suggests that person who listens
Add the preposition
to

The phrase following the intransitive verb listens seems to be missing a preposition. Consider adding one.

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music focused more
Verify preposition usage
on

It appears that there is a missing preposition after the word more. Consider adding the preposition.

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their target or work. To conclude, the
art
subjects
would prove very beneficial for the beginner, it can help to create creativeness and
also
give them pleasure or happiness. It can
also
help them to concentrate on their work.3
Submitted by Khush Guraya  on

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