some say that music, art and drama all as important as other school subjects especially at primary level. do you agree or disagree.

It is often said that music,

art

and drama all should be given equal priority, like other academic

subjects

in lower school levels. I largely agree with

this

statement because these

art

subjects

would help learners to develop creativity as well as more valuable information.

To begin

with, As in the primary education mind of students is very sharp like a blank page so, it can be filled with many beneficial things. As the arts

subjects

have the potential to make children 's mind more flexible or creative. To elaborate, these

subjects

help learners to more active in their life as well as, it relief their minds from stress.

Moreover

, it can enhance their study performance.

For example

, the educational department from Oxford School of Europe conducted a survey, it shows that the children from schools where

art

subjects

taught behave better in their academics and seem active than the other institution 's trainee.

Therefore

, these kinds of

subjects

contains

Change the verb form

contain

The singular verb contains does not appear to agree with the plural subject kinds. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples

many advantages for the students. Moving

further

, as these sorts of drama

subjects

contain very precious information, which is very beneficial for the students. They can get the inspirable messages from them. As in the schools,

this

is necessary to motivate the pupil time to time,

consequently

Add a comma

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase consequently. Consider adding a comma.

show examples

they can be motivated from music.

Moreover

, they can

also

recognise their own skills about these

subjects

, they can go for any particular field on the basis of those

subjects

For instance

, the survey from The Newyork Times suggests that person who listens

Add the preposition

The phrase following the intransitive verb listens seems to be missing a preposition. Consider adding one.

show examples

music focused more

Verify preposition usage

It appears that there is a missing preposition after the word more. Consider adding the preposition.

show examples

their target or work. To conclude, the

art

subjects

would prove very beneficial for the beginner, it can help to create creativeness and

also

give them pleasure or happiness. It can

also

help them to concentrate on their work.3

Submitted by Khush Guraya on Wed Jan 13 2021

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9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

4 paragraphs

292 words

7.00

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some say that music, art and drama all as important as other school subjects especially at primary level. do you agree or disagree.

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The preventing and reducing global environmental damage lies with politicians, as there are very little the individuals can do about this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

3. Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do advantages of this trend outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Model Answer: