Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Several people are of the view that volunteering should be made part of the high
school
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curriculum.
This
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essay completely agrees with that proposition
due to
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the positive outcomes it brings to
students
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. The essay will first examine how
such
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initiatives not only equip
students
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with valuable social skills but
also
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provide a much-needed break from the rigours of academic study. Engaging in community services,
such
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as assisting in charity events or teaching sports to the younger ones, allows adolescents to interact with a diverse group of people, which in turn builds their social capital.
This
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exposure helps them to build soft skills, namely teamwork, effective communication and empathy.
Moreover
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, working alongside the underprivileged members of society,
students
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learn to appreciate their own circumstances and develop a sense of appreciation. These experiences contribute to the upbringing of a generation
that is
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both socially responsible and sensitive to society’s needs.
Also
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, High
school
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children are often overwhelmed by the tedious academic work, leaving less room for activities that foster personal growth outside the classroom. By incorporating community service into
school
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programmes,
students
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get the opportunity to put into practice some of the topics they’ve learnt about in class.
For example
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, for a science student who is being taught Community Dentistry, which focuses on educating the public on the benefits of good oral health,
this
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gives him or her the platform to educate the public on what he or she has been taught in class.
This
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not only builds their self-confidence but
also
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gives them a practical feel of the field they have chosen. In conclusion, making voluntary service a mandatory part of high
school
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education offers tremendous merits. It develops crucial interpersonal skills and empathy
while
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allowing
students
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to unwind from their academic pressures. By fostering both personal and social growth, voluntary services can play a pivotal role in shaping well-rounded individuals who are prepared to contribute positively to society.

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task response - improvement
Your view is clear and you give good examples. To raise the score, go a bit deeper in each main point and show more how the service helps in life as well as study.
coherence - improvement
The essay flows well and has a good plan. Use small linking words to join ideas more and keep the flow smooth.
lexical - improvement
Try to use simple words only. Some phrases like 'social capital' or 'interpersonal' can be hard for readers who know only common words.
strength
Clear stance and a good, easy plan.
strength
Example ideas link well to what you teach in class and show proof of learning.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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