Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. What extent do you agree?

In today's world, there are a
lot
of discussions on the topic of the provision of social and sports activities by companies located in that
area
. I believe that
this
measure will be beneficial for local communities and simultaneously will not put a
lot
of obligations on firms which are going to provide these
facilities
.
Firstly
,
this
essay will answer the question
Verify preposition usage
of

It appears that there is a missing preposition after the word question. Consider adding the preposition.

show examples
why local organisations should provide sport and social
facilities
and,
secondly
, it will analyse the other side of
this
scheme. On the one hand, firms that have a high level of revenue and could afford some additional expenditures should organise social events for habitants of the local
area
.
This
is because
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction because. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
,
in some cities
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in some cities. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
there is a lack of places where citizens could spend their time since the government might
Verify preposition usage
apply

It appears that the preposition under may be unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.

show examples
under
provide public goods.
Therefore
, if private associations invest more money in
such
kind of institutions as sports gyms it might encourage more people to visit a city and,
hence
, there might be
Add an article
a

The noun phrase higher demand seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
h
igher demand for the product produced by these businesses.
As a result
, not only will local community benefit from new
facilities
but
also
companies that provide people with these places.
On the other hand
, businesses shouldn't be concerned about the infrastructure of the local
area
and the level of their development.
This
is because local authorities have to be aware of everything that happens and to try to improve it by investing in new
facilities
.
For instance
, in some countries
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in some countries. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
sports clubs are public goods since a state build them and people can easily access them for free.
However
, due to the fact that in some areas the authority doesn't pay a
lot
of attention to the events happening in the city
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase due to the fact that in some areas the authority doesn't pay a lot of attention to the events happening in the city. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
it might be inefficient to put all the responsibility on them. To conclude, I am firmly convinced that businesses should invest in the development of
facilities
for athletes and different kind of social events in order to improve the infrastructure of that
area
. Despite the fact that the government has to be responsible for the provision of public goods it might not put a
lot
of efforts to improve the situation.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Try other services:

All the services are free for Premium users