IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sports
Use synonyms
 and sporting activities
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 universal to all humans regardless of age, and it requires that
one
Use synonyms
 is both physically and mentally strong to be successful in competitions.
This
Linking Words
 has led to discussions amongst groups as to which kind of
strength
Use synonyms
 is most important for sporting victories
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that mental
strength
Use synonyms
 is very crucial for victory. Mental
strength
Use synonyms
 and preparedness regarding
sports
Use synonyms
 refers to a motivational and can-do attitude. It pushes a person
regardless
Punctuation problem
, regardless
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 of external encouragement
to
Punctuation problem
, to
show examples
 show up to whatever practice is needed
despite
Punctuation problem
, despite
show examples
 being
physical
Replace the word
physically
show examples
 tired. It helps
one
Use synonyms
 to compartmentalise and focus on the task at hand thereby that it is completed. Physical
strength
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 very
important
Punctuation problem
important,
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 refers to
Use synonyms
strength
Correct article usage
the strength
show examples
 that
one
Use synonyms
 has built in bodily muscles over time
as a result
Linking Words
 of training that could either be
sport specific
Use the right word
sport-specific
show examples
 or general. It involves putting in work and hours of training
focusing
Punctuation problem
, focusing
show examples
 on performance, physical prowess and skill development workouts. I think mental
strength
Use synonyms
 is most important
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
this
Linking Words
 helps an individual to form habits and routines that would help to attain physical
strength
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is built over time. A boxer
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 gets into a boxing ring with the thought that he or she has to win, and
this
Linking Words
 is motivation for them
such
Linking Words
 that even when they are down
an
Use the right word
and
show examples
 beaten, their coach is able to appeal to them so as to continue fighting in hopes of winning.
This
Linking Words
 can only be possible if
one
Use synonyms
 is able to push through pain and focus on the goal in front of them. Partaking in
sports
Use synonyms
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
strength
Use synonyms
 in general with with different
sports
Use synonyms
 requiring different levels of physical
strength
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is totally dependent on being mentally strong. An athlete is able to surpass previous levels of physical prowess by pushing, mentally conditioning and encouraging themselves towards success.

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task response
Task response: The essay tries to cover both sides and give your view. It should give more clear points for each side and a short, strong end that restates your view.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The ideas should flow in better order. Use paragraphs with one main idea each. Use linking words such as also, however, for example, and in addition. Avoid long run-on sentences.
task response
The writer gives a clear view that mental strength matters.
coherence and cohesion
There is a use of an example (boxing) to show how mind helps to win.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
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