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Writing Samples
Band 4

It is common for people to travel long distances for work and study. Some argue that longer commute times affect people in a negative way while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a popular view that many are affected in a negative way when they take a lot of
time
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while
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 travelling to
work
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 and
study
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 there is a contrasting view that it is not so. In my opinion, it depends on the person who is taking the long-distance
travel
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 for
office
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 or school
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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 essay will
further
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 discuss both views in detail.
To begin
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 with, some are prone to
stress
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 and frustration
while
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 travelling to the
office
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 or school every
day
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 for a
long-distance
Replace the word
long time
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.
Furthermore
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, these travellers lose a lot of
time
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 in their
day
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 in
commute
Correct article usage
the commute
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 itself.
For example
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, the employees of INFOSYS COMPANY always complain that they cannot
work
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 beyond 7 hours every
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day
Punctuation problem
day,
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 as they would need at least 2 hours of
time
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 to come to the
office
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.
Hence
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, if places of
work
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 and
study
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 are situated far away from the place of
residence
Punctuation problem
residence,
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then
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 some
people
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 feel frustrated as they lose valuable
time
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while
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 they make
this
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 journey to reach
such
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 places every
day
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.
On the contrary
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, there are
people
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 who like to
travel
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 all the
time
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 and they would feel that it is a great way to feel
refresh
Wrong verb form
refreshed
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themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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every
day
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. Everyone acquires
stress
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while
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 working in the
office
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 or studying in school
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 these
people
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 relieve that
stress
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 during their
time
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 of
travel
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.
For instance
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, some
people
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 like to drive on the freeway for more than an hour every
day
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. So,
such
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people
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 find pleasure in daily driving to
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office
Correct article usage
the office
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 for a long distance. So, there are
people
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who like to
travel
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for
Change preposition
apply
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long distances for
study
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 or
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work
Punctuation problem
work,
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 as it helps them to reduce the
stress
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 that they acquire
of
Change preposition
during
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 the
day
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.
To conclude
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,
while
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 some argue that travelling for long distances to places of
work
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 or
study
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 can affect
people
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 negatively, there are others who disagree.In my opinion, it really depends on the type of person who is travelling.
While
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this
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 can
affect
Verb problem
have
show examples
Correct article usage
a positively
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positively
Replace the word
positive
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 to a person who loves to
travel
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, it can
also
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 have negative effects on
people
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 who hate travelling.

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task response
Plan your answer. Write the view, your view, and a reason. Give one good example for each point.
coherence
Make clear links between ideas. Use small linking words like first, then, also, but, for example.
grammar
Use simple, correct grammar. Short sentences help avoid mistakes.
examples
Add more detail to your points. Do not rely on one example.
content
Idea of two sides and your view is stated.
structure
Intro, two body parts and conclusion are present.
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